Turtle's Progress

Nine Things I'm Thinking About, Saturday

2010-08-14T12:21:00.000-07:00

1. It's been waaaaay too long since I blogged, I know. But I have an excuse, well, a couple of excuses. First, Tom and I were in Jackson Hole, Wyoming for five days, and then the day after we returned our computer crashed. We got it back up and running yesterday.

2. Right before we left for Jackson, Erin, Brent and the kids came for a visit. They arrived in time for dinner and then we quickly made the first batch of ice cream with the new (thrifted) ice cream maker. It worked like a champ! Recipe: 2 cups heavy cream, 2 cups half and half, one cup powdered sugar, 2 tablespoons vanilla. Mixed it up, poured it in the assembled maker and followed the directions. Thirty minutes later (with no muss or fuss from ice or salt) we had ice cream. The kiddos loved helping the the turning of the crank -- three times every five minutes. Here are pics of our culinary adventure. It made just enough for the six of us to get our fill!

3. Jackson Hole was beautiful!! I have traveled much in my fifty plus years but never been to this part of the country. The descent into the airport located in Grand Teton National Park was awesome. A wide circle over Jackson Hole (which is not the name of the town, I have learned, but the name of the area between the mountains -- like a valley but called a "hole" by the early settlers). As the plane circles it slowly descends until landing in the tiny airport which was allowed to stay open after much politicking when Grand Teton became a National Park. Here we are in front of the Tetons.

4. We stayed at the Snow King Resort just six blocks from downtown Jackson. It is nestled up next to a mountain and has a couple of ski lifts that run during the summer to afford folks the amazing view (without walking up and down the mile long switchback trail which my friend walked not once but TWICE during our stay there -- while my lazy butt was sitting at the hotel computer!). Of course, like most tourist joints they took a picture just as we approached the summit. Tom decided to give me a kiss so you can't see the terrified look on my face! And also a shot of the view as we started down (with rain and LIGHTNING! in the background!)

5. We spent time in both Grand Teton and Yosemite National Parks. After watching the PBS series about the National Parks earlier this year, it was wonderful to actually spend some time in a couple of the most famous. We, of course, waited for Old Faithful to blow her top and took pictures of that. While we were waiting, I wrote out postcards to all of the grandkids and my little sis about where we were. The place was packed, and is surrounded by bleachers to watch and wait.

6. When it did finally blow, the kids behind us who were whining about it "taking so long" were the first to cheer! Not sure if it was because they could finally leave or because of how awesome it was. We encountered many families along the way. Most of the school-aged kids seemed to be enjoying the adventures but there were also many who late in the day were saying, "we saw enough nature for today, mom!"

7. I loved seeing all of the wild flowers. I'm sure in the spring it is even more beautiful but I did find many along the way.

8. And, of course, we saw some wildlife. Up close and personal with the buffalo, elk hiding in the tall grass, and deer grazing.

9. It was a great trip and, as always, I'm glad to be home! But love looking back at the pictures and remembering the good time we had.

Five Things I'm Thinking About, Monday

2010-07-26T10:22:00.000-07:00

1. Missed a call from Charlotte this morning. She left me a sweet message. "Hi, how you doing? How's Cali? Yeah, we're going to work. I love you, bye." She went to work with her mommy this morning and I did call her back and talk some but I think I'll save this message -- sweet little four year old voice!

2. Saturday Tom and I ventured down to Nashville to check out the table I found on Craigslist. It was perfect and I'm working at it right now. Here are some pictures. The original Craigslist pics showed it as being blond so I was really excited to see this nice dark stain that goes so well with the rest of my stuff in this corner of the house!

3. Here's a picture of the crappy old folding table we used to have here.

4. Saturday afternoon we went to a pool party about a mile from our house. It was nice to be able to get in and out of the pool over the course of that HOT afternoon! The pool was about the size of the one we had at our house in Anniston. Some times it was, indeed, nice to have a pool in the back yard (this summer would probably count for that!) but for the most part it was a pain in the a$$! We were glad to enjoy the cool (well, tepid) water and not have to worry about caring for the pool!

5. I've started watching the reruns this summer of "The Good Wife". It has a good storyline about corrupt (is there any other kind) politician who goes to jail and how is wife and family carry-on during that time. Wife (Julianna Margulies) gets a job and works on keeping her teen-age kids grounded. Her cases as a lawyer at large law firm are the main stories each week, with her private life being the back story.

Eight Things I'm Thinking About, Thursday

2010-07-22T09:43:00.001-07:00

1. Had a good day at the thrifts yesterday. Went to one that is independent and supports a local agency. I rarely go to this particular one because it is not on my normal run of errands but it does have some bargains. Yesterday I found a nice lamp shade which was just the size I needed and this one quart ice cream maker. It caught my eye because it was red but when I saw that all the parts seemed to be there I decided to get it. This store doesn't price items -- they tell you the cost when you get to the check out. I can't believe she wanted only one dollar for the shade and ice cream maker! Needless to say, I left a donation in addition to that!

2. When I got home I was able to download and print an instruction manual and read reviews on-line. Everyone who has one of these seems to love it! Can't wait to try it out.

3. Earlier this week I also found a cute item at the Goodwill. This little bud vase that holds four individual stems goes perfect with my decor! I do have quite a few things with black iron holders like this so it fits right in! I just love it!

4. I talked with my mom and dad on the phone yesterday. I don't call them often enough. Sorry for that! I will do better!

5. Tomorrow is my sister's birthday. I remember the day she was born. I was only ten years old and already had two brothers. I thought another brother would be just the thing -- then I could keep my room in our new home all to myself! Thank God I had to share that room with my sister for the next ten years. My life would truly not be the same without her. I know not all sisters get along or have a close relationship but I'm one of the very lucky who does and I wouldn't trade that for anything! Happy Birthday, my dear sweet funny loving sister! Here she is with her boys when she came for a visit last year.

6. I may have found a table for our computer/office area. The Craigslist person just emailed me and said they are still available. Hope to check them out in the next day or so.

7. Here's a picture of my friend Cheryl and her hubby Ron. This was taken at dinner on our way to the Mary Chapin Carpenter concert last Friday. They are cute couple!

8. And here's another cute couple on their way to the concert! What a great time that was!

MCC Things I'm Thinking About, Sunday

2010-07-18T11:22:00.000-07:00

1. I have loved Mary Chapin Carpenter since about 1996 when my first marriage was in its final days. She wrote lyrics about love and loss and loneliness that spoke to my heart in a way that no other music or musician ever had. During that time I was watching alot of CMT -- back then they showed mostly music videos. One in particular caught my eye. Shut Up and Kiss Me was filmed like a studio recording and the young woman singing was having a ball with her band and her music! I began my search for the album this song was on and before I knew it I had acquired all six of the albums she had put out up to then.

2. That was when so many of the lyrics in her songs of pain and loss began to speak to me. Songs like:

Never Had It So Good (No one's got to tell me it's over, I can see it from miles away, No ones got to tell me what I don't already know today),

Quittin' Time (We were so connected you were a part of me, now I feel an emptiness right to the heart of me),

The More Things Change (But I'm the same sweet girl you couldn't get enough of way back when you pledged your love),

What You Didn't Say (So why do I feel confused, why do I feel so used, like a worn out thought you threw away),

Rhythm of the Blues (I don't want to hear another word spoken, I don't want to see another tear shed, I can't seem to fix what's broken),

Outside Looking In (Now I only hear the noise of what I am without, I see them walking hand in hand and my eyes just want to linger on those golden wedding bands wrapped around their fingers),

I Can See It Now (I can hear it now, a breaking all apart, a strange familiar sound that's coming from my heart).

3. But in the midst of those songs of heartbreak and loss were also great ballads, hopeful songs of future love and upbeat dance songs. Gradually those also began to become part of my life.

Keeping the Faith, I Want to Be Your Girlfriend, This Is Love, Passionate Kisses, Shut Up and Kiss Me, and Sudden Gift of Fate all told a story of hope for the future. Sudden Gift of Fate especially meant alot -- "You can celebrate, gifts are never late, you just learn to wait for sudden gifts of fate."

And then the ballads... this woman can definitely tell a story in verse and music! This Shirt, Halley Came to Jackson, I Am a Town, Stones in the Road, and my favorite, Family Hands. This tune holds a special place for me because those beautiful lyrics could easily have been written for my best friend's husband. Anytime I hear this song I think of Bill.

"Raised by the women who are stronger than you know

A patchwork quilt of memory only women could have sewn

The threads were stitched by family hands, protected from the moth

By your mother...and her mother, the weavers of your cloth"

4. After listening, memorizing, and listening some more to all of these wonderful albums, I was yearning for more. I was always on the look-out for the next one... "Party Doll" came out in 1999 shortly before I met my husband, Tom. It was a remake of many of her old songs but there were a couple of new ones. One in particular could have been written for my Tommy. Wherever You Are starts out with this hopeful verse:

"I’m looking for a strong and steady heart

For a love in a world that won’t fall apart

At the first sign of trouble, near or far

I’m looking through eyes that have shed some tears

And I’m looking for that one who’s gonna face my fears

Without thinking he must erase each scar

I’m gonna find you baby, wherever you are."

5. By this time Erin and Meghan were both attending Auburn University. I made the trek down there fairly often -- always with the sunroof wide open, listening and singing along to Mary Chapin. Erin had also become a fan and we loved the soundtrack of those drives back and forth. At the start of each song, one of us would inevitably say, "I really love THIS one!"

6. In July of 1999 I went to my first concert. I took my nephew, Jared, who was also a fan, with me. We made the drive over to Atlanta's Chastain Park, and enjoyed the wonderful sounds of Mary as dusk settled over the park.

7. Since that first concert I have seen her twice more at Chastain, once on the south lawns of North Carolina's beautiful Biltmore Estate, and just this past Friday here in Nashville. It was a wonderful concert, her voice is a strong as ever, her stage presence and audience interaction is natural and fun, her band supports her lovely voice in every way, and her lyrics continue to speak to my heart.

8. In 2008 she put out a CD of holiday music. It's called "Come Darkness, Come Light" and it will warm your heart this December if you grab a copy!

9. Those old cassette tapes from which I first heard this amazing singer-songwriter are long gone -- worn completely out! But I still have the music on CD and have loaded it all onto my MP3 player. When Tom and I take long trips, and he's ready for a nap, I pull out my player, put in my ear buds, and go straight to my folder of MCC. There is nothing else I want to hear when I'm driving on a long trip!

Nine Things I'm Thinking About, Monday

2010-07-12T15:37:00.001-07:00

1. Last night I stayed up until midnight. I do this at least once during any time Tom is out of town. I don't know why. I get started doing things in the evening and just keep on until done...

2. I was cleaning out some of my kitchen stuff. Not alot but some. I do this every once in awhile when I start feeling overwhelmed! I have had to start limiting my "focus" (I can hear my daughters saying, "what focus?") to certain things lest my entire house be decorated with a kitchen motif!

3. Cheryl and I went out to a new second hand consignment store last week and she found a set of three framed nature photographs -- 11 x 14 and professionally matted and framed -- they were perfect for our masterbath. I haven't done any decorating in that room so with that purchase I now have a theme to go with in there! Now I'm looking for about a four foot long wooden shelf to go above the towels to hold nature-themed items.

4. Craig wanted to bring his new "friend" up to meet us on his birthday weekend but we are leaving town that Sunday... I can't wait to meet this girl who is making him so happy!

5. Book group tomorrow is discussing Home to Harmony by Phillip Gulley. I borrowed it from Erin and Brent's library and had read it years ago when they lived in Colorado. It is just as good the second time around. We collect quotes from the books we have read and this one is full of great little tidbits like...

6. "Sometimes what we think we need isn't what we need at all, and what gets thrown in for good measure is that which fills our hearts."

7. "There's danger in thinking joy is a matter of location. If we can't find joy where we are, we probably won't find it anywhere."

8. "In the end, that is what we all must do. Stand where we feel led. Stand straight, stand tall, and try hard to remember that other folks might be led to stand elsewhere."

9. And finally, "Sometimes I feel like I'm sitting at God's table and I've just finished one piece of blessing, and God smiles and says, "Here, Sam, have another."

Three Things I'm Thinking About, Sunday

2010-07-11T16:20:00.000-07:00

1. Had a great time this weekend with Brody and Lynn (his other grandmother). They came up Friday evening for a couple of nights and I'm so glad they did. Tom left Friday morning and will be gone until Thursday so it was nice to have some company.

2. Saturday we went to a local park that has a wonderful wading pool. Here's a shot of him cooling off in the water and a couple of him playing in the wooden tractor that he has enjoyed since we first moved up to Nashville. The first one was taken when he was 23 months old, the second one this weekend when he is just a couple months shy of 5 years old! He sure has grown!

3. We had a great time and I'm glad they came up for a visit!

Six Things I'm Thinking About, Tuesday

2010-07-06T07:59:00.000-07:00

1. Glad to be home from a fun long weekend in Michigan. The fam up there showed us a great time and we can't wait to get together again. Cookout with everyone on Friday night, great fireworks at CampDearborn Saturday night, and a Detroit Tigers game on Sunday afternoon. Despite the Tigers' loss and sweltering weather, we had a really good time!

2. We stopped at a great Goodwill in Troy, Ohio on our way home Monday. It was right on the interstate and we found good bargains and goodies -- $34 worth! One of the best buys -- a full sheet of 40 1993 Elvis Presley 29 cent stamps in an 8x10 frame. Face value of stamps is $11.40 (according to ebay they aren't worth any more than that), the Goodwill price was $1.99.

3. I've decided to start sending postcards to each of the grandkiddos from any travels we go on. They seem to love to get mail. Postcard postage is 28 cents. See item above to see how I'm going to pay for the postage!

4. Bummer -- just heard that postal rates are going up. Postcard will be 30 cents! Guess I'll be buying some one cent-ers!

5. My girls and their dad are on a three day road trip to LA (lower Alabama) to celebrate Erin's 30th birthday. Meghan surprised her sister by showing up to tag along on their trip. So far she is the only one who can actually pull off a surprise on her sister! You can read Erin's report on their fun here.

6. Got the car fixed from the little mishap down in Huntsville last week. I called the gentleman who hit me and he was very gracious. Said he would leave the money with Erin. It's nice to know there are actually people who will leave their name and phone number and not just take off.

Seven Things I'm Thinking About, Thursday

2010-07-01T18:56:00.000-07:00

1. Just came back from the neighbors' for birthday cake and ice cream. Marv turned 75 today and all three of their kids from Michigan drove down to surprise him for the weekend. They are a fun family that obviously love each other and their parents. It was nice to spend some time with them before we make the trek up to Michigan tomorrow to the same county they just came from! They must have brought some cool weather with them -- it only hit 85 today!

2. Today has felt like Saturday all day long. Tom got back yesterday and is off today so it seems like Saturday. But it's not and now we have a long long weekend ahead of us -- yeah!

3. Charlotte called this morning after opening her package from us. When I asked her what she got for her birthday that was special (thinking she would tell me about her new kitty from her mom and dad) she said, "Flip flops!" They were in with the package of goodies we sent -- guess they were a hit! I hate missing my grandkiddos birthdays....

4. We are taking "Big Betty" to Michigan tomorrow. I told Tom that instead of figuring miles per gallon with this truck, I'm using the miles per dollar figure -- we get six miles to the dollar and it's a 600 mile trip, and gas is more expensive the further north we go... Oh well, I'm still looking forward to it!

5. Zaxby's now has fried dill pickles on their menu.

6. One of Tom's counterparts from the agency in California gave him a gift for all the help Tom has give him over the past few years. It's a $75 bottle of Merlot. I can't wrap my mind around a $75 bottle of wine but I'm looking forward to having some.

7. Persons Unknown is a summer replacement show on NBC. It is very strange so far and a bit intriguing. More importantly when it comes to TV this summer is The Closer is starting new episodes on July 12th! That is one of my favorites!

Five Things I'm Thinking About, Wednesday

2010-06-30T08:13:00.000-07:00

1. Maybe Meghan is right, there might be a hind-side family resemblance. Wish I still had those now vintage early 1980s jeans to pass on to you, kiddo!

2. Tommy's home!!! Hurray!

3. The car is in the shop to get the headlight fixed. Should be done by the time we get back from our mini-vacation to Michigan.

4. I've got the itch to change some things in the house. A picture here, a curtain there, different colors, a new lamp. I think my home is always a work in progress, as most homes are. Fortunately, the Goodwill makes these changes easy and inexpensive (and if an item doesn't work out, back it goes!)

5. Reading the National Geographic book about "living green" has made me think that anything I buy/eat/use is toxic. It's a big book with cheery pictures that makes you think this "living green" stuff might be do-able, but read the print and another story emerges.... I'll continue to do the best I can.

Three Things I'm Thinking About, Tuesday

2010-06-29T10:17:00.001-07:00

1. Had originally planned to meet with my friend, Cheryl, today and head out for some thrifting and lunch. She had sent me a message earlier asking if I wanted to hang-out, as her son and DIL were leaving early (like 4:30 am, early!) and her house was going to be quite lonely. After talking about 9:30 this morning we both realized that the thought of heading out and about was much more enticing than the actual heading out. After my long day yesterday and her long two weeks with company we decided to postpone! (I have done this often in the past, just ask my daughters about "Let's go to Walmart/the mall" statements during their early teen years, only to be told later, "Nah, I don't want to go ...") Maybe they will forgive me for those changes of mind someday when they hit their forties and begin to run out of steam.... Sorry girls, I know how irritating that was for you!

2. So, I spent most of the day cleaning, straightening, organizing, getting ready for trip to Michigan on Friday. Finally had enough, and headed out to the local Goodwill for a quick once over. Tuesday is 20% off with a Smart Card and $25 purchase. I made that easily and came home with some good loot. A Martha Stewart organizing book, a National Geographic green living book, a couple skirts, a set of twin sheets for when the kiddos are here. Best of all, a really cool oak cookbook holder -- homemade, with the crafter's name and date etched in the bottom. The top lifts up when in use to hold a cookbook, the bottom has two drawers for 3x5 recipe cards. Nice thing about our Goodwill is it takes returns within 14 days. So you can try things out and if you decide you don't want/need it take it back to exchange for something else. Not sure if this is a keeper or not but it probably is... I can't resist home-crafted! (read, NOT made in China!)

3. This picture of me was taken when I was about 18 months. My mom passed it on. I love the vintage looks -- the vinyl children's rocker, the lacey curtains, and ruffley little dress. And look at those curls, guess my sister didn't get all the curls in the family! I've always thought I looked like my dad's side of the family but I think I see my mom in this little one's face.

Six Things I'm Thinking About, Monday

2010-06-28T19:27:00.001-07:00

1. Got up at 6:00 this morning and was headed to Huntsville by 7:00. Arrived to hugs and kisses from my girl and grandkiddos at about 9:30. Had been nearly a month since I'd seen them and I was missing some grama hugs!

2. We headed to their neighborhood pool a short time later and I was in awe as I watching Sarah jump in the pool again and again and swim (swim!!) to her mommy! She had lessons earlier in the month and was using all the skills she learned! I forgot my camera so didn't get any pics of my little polywog!

3. But I did get some later in the afternoon after Ephraim's nap. Here they are busy with some water play. E tired of washing the dishes in the wheelbarrow and thought sitting in it would be much more fun... And Sarah was channeling her gardening Grama Dixie as she watered the flowers...

4. I stayed for dinner and Sarah offered the prayer. Sweetest prayer I've heard in a long time. "Thank you, God, for this beautiful world you made. I don't know how to thank you enough it is so beautiful. Help Grama have a safe drive home to her cozy home. Amen" Here I am safe and sound, God must have been listening!

5. While my car was parked in front of Erin and Brent's house a man backing out the driveway across the street hit my headlight blinker on the driver side! Made it home right after dark, the headlights are working but the blinker portion is now hanging out of the socket. Guess it will be going into the shop tomorrow!

6. Got Charlotte's birthday gift in the mail. This will be the first time that I miss not being there for at least within a couple weeks of her birthday. Sometimes being this far away really sucks!

Five Things I'm Thinking About, Saturday

2010-06-26T20:07:00.000-07:00

1. C and I had a sleep-over last night. Picked her up about 5:00 pm, went out for pizza and then headed back here. Played two game of Yahtzee, watched the very first episode of Gilmore Girls (she had never seen GG before)and made plans for the movies today.

2. Went to see the 3D version of Toy Story 3. Not sure it was worth the money but C really wanted to try it. The glasses were the totally nerdy kind! Told her she could keep mine for her younger sis. It was a fun two days with my "Little Sister". We will have to do it again.

3. Missing Tommy. He says southern Cal is much cooler than the south is right now. His hotel is VERY close to Disneyland. Buses full of families pass him by the minute on his walks out and about.

4. Thursday is sweet Charlotte's fourth birthday. How did that happen? Here she is the first time I met her. Love at first sight!

5. I remember her mama's fourth birthday. She had a Big Bird cake and we played "Pin the Candle on the Birthday Cake". (Ha! You thought I remembered back that far, didn't ya?) Loving my big old picture albums!!

Four Things I'm Thinking About, Thursday

2010-06-24T15:14:00.001-07:00

1. I love going to thrift stores. I know, I know, all three of you who read this already know that. But the thing I wish I could know is the background history of some of the items I find. It would be so cool to know who's great-aunt originally owned some of the items, whose father made what, which grama crocheted the doilies. But that goes with the territory of thrifting -- not knowing. Here's what I found today:

This little chest is made from the drawers of an old pedal sewing machine cabinet. Whoever made it did a wonderful job -- I think it's pretty cool and just fits in this space next to the electronics. I like the vintage/modern contrast.

I love this little cream pitcher. I think it is Fostoria with a silver base. It's small -- like four inches tall but so sweet.

2. Just got back from Cages Bend campground for a short visit with my buddy, Cheryl, and her family. It was nice to spend some time with them. Her son and daughter-in-law are in the process of moving from California to Arizona and have been out here visiting for two weeks. Unfortunately, they all also got in on the "chiggers" from the jazz concert last Sunday....

3. Tom left this morning for a week long stay in California. The first few days aren't so bad, but I sure do miss him after four or five days have passed.

4. Tomorrow night my BBBS little sister is going to spend the night with me. We have been wanting to have a "sleep-over" for awhile but had to be matched for six months before we could. Should be fun!!

Four Things I'm Thinking About, Tuesday

2010-06-22T05:50:00.001-07:00

1. That jazz concert we went to on Sunday with all the pretty pictures.... it wasn't all fun and games. I'm fighting a bad case of chigger bites all over my upper legs and stomach. Yuck!!!!

2. Found this cute little teapot at an antique store today. It was the only thing in the store I was interested in and the only thing without a price! The sales lady checked with the vendor and said it was $10 -- sold! Especially since I already had the sugar and creamer.

3. Tom leaves Thursday morning for a week long trip to Anaheim for the National Sheriff's Association yearly meeting. I decided not to go because I was hoping to go to California around now for Charlotte's birthday but the ticket prices are outrageous right now! Guess I will have a quiet week at home -- maybe head to Huntsville for a day when the Cobbies return from vacation.

4. It's HOT here in the south! Upper 90's again today. Won't be spending much time on our lovely screened porch...

Four Things I'm Thinking About, Monday

2010-06-21T07:44:00.001-07:00

1. I love this hymn! We sang it in church yesterday. John Bell is a Scottish theologian and musician who has written some wonderful mondern day hymns.

2. Meet Betty. About three weeks ago Tom and I (mostly Tom) purchased a brand new vehicle (like 34 miles on the odometer new). She is a Ford F-150 extended cab with lots of bells and whistles (and a few extras added after the purchase). When we first took Brody for a ride in her on Saturday and told him her name was "Betty", he renamed her "Big Betty." I think it is more than appropriate. She is named for Tom's dear Aunt Betty who died last December.

3. Oh how I love cantaloupe season! I can remember living on Fort Ord near the Salinas Valley of California in the mid 80s and buying five cantalope for a dollar! Five!! Erin attended preschool near the fruit stand where I bought them and it seemed like I purchased another five every Tuesday and Thursday throughout the growing season that year! I also remember one summer having it fresh off the vine from my SIL's garden in Boaz, Alabama when my children were young. Delicious!

4. Having neighbors you love is such a gift! We go out to dinner with Marv and Carolyn about three times a month, swap tools, food, recipes, chores. Borrow an egg now and then. The biggest thing they do for us is care for Cali when we go out of town. She thinks nothing of walking over to visit them anytime during the day and then they will call to say, "She's over here!" Just a bit ago Marv called to say he had stuffed some peppers from the garden and to come and get some straight out of the oven to have with our dinner. We are lucky to have them right next door!

Four Things I'm Thinking About, Sunday

2010-06-20T06:32:00.000-07:00

1. I LOVE my husband!! His kids are here for the weekend so last night after dinner out at Maggiano's and then getting Brody down for the night, he gave his kids a video story of what he knows about his side of the family -- aunts, uncles, cousins, stories. With his father dying when he was only nine years old he said there were lots of things he wished he knew but never will so filled in what he could for them. I wish I had made a video tape of him. I know someday it would mean something to them. I thought it was a nice Father's Day gift to them! Craig seemed to enjoy learning about his family, Jenn, not so much.

2. Today we all went to church and then out for lunch. Here's a shot of Brody and his grandad at the restaurant.

3. After the kids left at about 2:30, Tom and I hung out at the house and then headed out to hear some outdoor jazz in Hendersonville from 6:00 to 8:00. Ran into some folks from church and other good friends. The music was great and after the sun went down the temperature was just right. Here are some pics of our friends during the intermission. The guys are checking out the US Open final round, and the girls are just trying to stay cool with the fans! And don't you know the "Jim Ferguson Band" was hot under that tent!

4. This little concert on the lawn was one of the first times we have actually run into some of the few people we know here in Middle Tennessee. That makes it feel much more like home. In Anniston (well anywhere in the state of Alabama) we were constantly running into people that Tom or I (mostly Tom) knew. Not so much here, but maybe this is a turning point. Let's hope so!! It was fun!

Six Things I'm Thinking About, Friday

2010-06-18T21:57:00.000-07:00

1. Firing squad. Really? Five shooters, five rifles, four bullets. Leaving each shooter to hope his wasn't the shot to take another's life?

2. Painting the front door today. It was starting to peel and then when Tom pressure washed the front porch a few weeks ago, it really peeled and looked horrendous. The painters who painted our house before we moved in were horrendous. So were the sheet-rockers. Tape is coming loose at all the angles on our very high ceilings. Will take scaffolding and professionals to fix it. Wish professionals had done it to begin with. This picture of the tape coming lose is up about 20 feet.

3. I have rejoined Facebook but in a very limited way.

4. Clotheslines are banned by our "Homeowners Association". I guess that means the permanent ones located in the backyard with lines from one end of a t-post to another. The kind that you can hang two entire sets of sheets on and kids can hide in between... but I still hang my clothes on the line. Three years ago after living in this house with nowhere to hang my laundry outside, I started researching for a portable line like the one I had in Greece. Found this one here . Paid a hefty price for it but know that it has more than paid for itself. I use it year round -- on the deck in summer and guest room in winter. My dryer only gets tossing action on the no heat setting for each load I hang up.

5. I think my husband's favorite summertime activity is this:

Mowing the yard while smoking a cigar.

6. I love white mini-lights. Have used them on my deck/porch in Anniston and the porch here at this house. When they are lit and it's very dark outside they remind me of the the lights used at all the little outdoor tavernas in Greece. Here's the Anniston house.

And here's our home here in Tennessee.

Seven Things I'm Thinking About, Thursday

2010-06-16T13:33:00.001-07:00

1. With our next door neighbors we have been composting all compostable waste produced in our household. We have a composter about the size of a large rolling garbage can. After doing this for a year it is less than a third full and we haven't used any of the compost... I guess that's why it's called biodegradeable -- it degrades!

2. Yesterday was an "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" day. Those of you familiar with that children's book know what that means. You start cleaning one closet, drawer, room, etc.... and it snowballs to cleaning ALL the closets, ALL the drawers, ALL the house... Now the spare bedrooms are all clean and ready for guests this weekend.

3. The guests this weekend are Tom's kids, Craig and Jennifer, and Jennifer's son, Brody. It's been quite awhile since they came up for a visit and fitting that it is also Father's Day weekend.

4. I'm especially anxious to see Craig. This will be the first time we have seen him since he made the decision and took the action to get a divorce. His first anniversary would have been while he is here on Sunday. We are very glad he made this choice and is going on with his life. He is a wonderful man and someday a lucky young woman is going to love and appreciate him for the "Wright Man" that he is.

5. I'm always fascinated by siblings and how different they can be. Especially when they are full siblings (as opposed to steps or halfs) and raised by the same parents. My own girls are different in many respects but they have the same basic value system, have careers that enable them to use their vast creative abilities, and have a fierce love of family. My own sibs are a case in point. My brothers and I have little in common, yet my sister and I are much more so. The old nature vs nurture problem, I guess.

6. Cali had her yearly vet appointment this morning. Exam and vaccinations, heartworm and tick/flea meds. Also having her teeth cleaned and nails clipped. For that she had to be sedated and left most of the day. Being sedated added all kinds of necessary charges (pre-blood work, post anti-biotic, bordatella). The grand total was about twice what I expected but, fortunately, she is a healthy dog and this was all needed check-up stuff! But I can see why some folks might be interested in pet insurance... She's sleeping it off now that she's home.

7. My little Charlotte called this evening for a chat. She and her dad were on their way to Grama's (my mom's) house but she told me she was coming to my house.... I wish! Miss that little munchkin (and her mommy and daddy)!! This picture of us was taken last October.

Five Things I'm Thinking About, Wednesday

2010-06-14T19:43:00.000-07:00

1. I've given up eating meat. I don't call myself a vegetarian, because I'm not opposed to eating it, but I've read too much about the way meat is grown in this country, and am horrified by the factory farms that produce meat and poultry. I actually haven't missed it. I do eat eggs and cheese (I know, I know...) because I know I need protein. I love grains, fruits and veggies...

2. I think I'm going to start a new FB account. I miss being connected to my daughters and some friends. Plan to be more discerning about "friending" people. Maybe.

3. We went on a picnic for dinner last night at Cumberland University. The Nashville Symphony Orchestra was playing a free concert on the lawn. Planned to meet Ron and Cheryl there but their plans had to change. Did hook-up with Betty when we arrived. The evening was absolutely beautiful -- cool and breezy -- and the music enchanting. As the evening got darker the fireflies appeared, toddlers danced, and I didn't get a photo of any of it -- my battery was dead! So here's a press pic of the conductor, Kelly Corcoran at work!

4. I went thrifting and antiquing for a time yesterday after depositing all of the recycle for the month. I hit the local Goodwill on a regular basis but not the antique stores so that was kind of fun -- but, alas, no goodies to show for the trips.

5. My friend Joyce (bff extraordinaire !) has dealt with back pain for the entire 26 years of our friendship. It has worsened as the years passed and she has decided to try an implanted device to help her deal with it. You can read about her brave struggle here. Say a prayer, she's having the procedure done today. Here's a pic of my buddy and her new puppy, Bailey, from a couple years ago.

Six Things I'm Thinking About, Monday

2010-06-14T14:28:00.000-07:00

1. It's HOT here in the south these days! 93 degrees with heat index of 100! Whew! I just spent a few hours on the screened porch with the fans on, but now I'm raising the white flag and coming in to the AC!

2. Tom and I went garage-saling Saturday morning. Nothing to show for our miles other than a coffee thermos for him and a book for me. It was hot then too! I felt sorry for the people selling -- they were all moving their wares from the driveway into the garages!

3. Last week I got this lamp at Goodwill. It was a cream color trimmed in gold and pretty ugly. I watched it sitting on the shelf for a few weeks. It's very heavy ceramic and I love the lines. So after paying $2.50 on half price day, I brought it home, cleaned it up and grabbed this great spray paint color. I love my "new" lamp for the porch! And a big shout-out to my wonderful hubby for running and stapling an extension cord under the deck so we can now have light on this side of the porch.

4. I spent Saturday afternoon with my BBBS Little Sister. C and I went shopping at Kohl's for her belated birthday gifts -- summer clothes! She had definite likes and dislikes and it was fun helping her coordinate some outfits. We then had lunch at SteakNShake before heading back to her house. Oh, and a quick stop at the Goodwill where we found her a really cute denim skirt to add to the birthday loot!!

5. My family in California spent two days last week cutting down some huge juniper trees at the side of my parents' house. My mom planted them shortly after they moved in over 45 years ago. They provided lots of shade on the deck but the root system was in danger of damaging the foundation of the house. Wish I had been there to help them all out. You can see pictures of all the work they did on my sister's blog here. My mom's yard was always so beautiful and she loved taking care of her plants and flowers but she can no longer do that so the yard is being changed to something more manageable.

6. I noticed on my site meter that I hit 10,000 visitors yesterday. That person is in Canada and came to my blog by way of my sister's and I have no idea who it could be. 10,000 sounds like a lot but when you consider I have had this blog since April of 2006, it's not such a big deal. But I'm enjoying so that is the important thing!

Five Things I'm Thinking About, Friday

2010-06-11T10:13:00.000-07:00

Today I'm thinking about some of the many things in my home that I love and cherish because they were made by members of my family.

Some of my first memories of my mom are of her doing needlework. She especially loved to embroider. She has made many many things throughout the years -- pillow cases, dresser scarves, dish towels, etc. My favorites that she made especially for me are these:

She made this quilt for me nearly 40 years ago and I love it! Each block is appliqued around the butterfly and has some additional embroidery. Her embroidery work was always beautiful.

This next piece she made about 25 years ago. This was the first cloth tablecloth I ever had and has six matching napkins -- each embroidered with a different matching color from the tablecloth.

She also did many dishtowels. These daily "angels" are hanging on my vintage rack in the kitchen.

2. My dad's specialty has always been wood and metal works. These book ends he made when I was about five years old (over 50 years ago!). I remember him making them and then putting fabric on the bottom so they wouldn't scratch the furniture. The fabric is wool from his Navy uniform. He also made the little birdhouse next to the book ends.

I actually have an additional set of bookends that he made in his high school wood shop class (can you see his name on the bottom? John K).

And my favorite piece of all -- this little table he also made in high school. He made it for my grandmother and she gave it to me about 35 years ago.

For my 23rd birthday he made this plant stand . It has traveled the world with me and the movers always complain because it is so oddly shaped and doesn't come apart. It is hard to see on the screen porch but I especially love the scroll work additions to the rebar. He loves to weld and still makes all kinds of things like this.

3. This embroidered "Serenity Prayer" is very special to me because it is a gift from both of my parents. Mom did the embroidery and dad made the frame. It has been displayed in every home I have lived in since 1976.

4. My very talented daughters must get their creativity from their grandparents. Meghan has sewn many items for me to wear during the past few years but one of the first things she made for me is now a new addition to my kitchen. Do you see it?

She made this little mug rack back in middle school wood shop about 20 years ago. I just today found it again, spray painted it red and hung these mugs on it! I just love it!

5. Erin has also made me things that I cherish. When I was a year from turning 50 she started a countdown for me and gave me a little book with a memory for every day during that year. Here is a sampling of this thoughtful gift from my "little" girl...

And her amazing photography also graces our home. Here are two canvases of the grandkids done with pictures she took of them in 2008 and 2009. I look forward to watching the kiddos grow with a new canvas showcasing her talent each year.

Four Things I"m Thinking About, Wednesday

2010-06-09T15:42:00.000-07:00

Woke up at 4:15 this morning and stayed up. The rain started around 5:00 and I spent about an hour out on the porch reading and listening to those big drops hit the metal roof -- somehow it was relaxing.

Started reading Phillip Yancey's "What's So Amazing About Grace?". So far, I really like the perspective. This is my first Yancey book and I think I will probably be seeking out more when this one is read.

I need to get together with my BBBS Little Sis. Haven't seen her since we volunteered at Second Harvest last month. She turned eleven on May 26 so this Saturday we are going "belated birthday" shopping!

Took the car in for an oil change/tire rotation this morning. They did what I wanted and then the technician came out and said there were a couple of additional things I needed -- fuel filter (okay, I could go for that) and new coolant (um, not! We just had the radiator replaced a couple months ago with new coolant added -- don't they test it to see if it's still good?)

Four Things I'm Thinking About, Monday

2010-06-07T16:02:00.000-07:00

Spent most of today cleaning my kitchen collectibles and the shelves I have them displayed on. Started out with a simple project and ended up spending the rest of the day on it.... (at least I got the laundry done before I started this!)

2. Meghan and Charlotte called this afternoon. They had been thrifting and Charlotte had to tell me about the mailbox she got. She was excited about that! Also wanted to know what to feed humming birds, as they also found a feeder at the thrift!

3. Tom just got home and is out mowing the grass. He loves that job during the summer... especially now since he doesn't have to struggle with the front or side hills. We put blue rug junipers on the front hill, and rock on the driveway side . I'll post some pics later this week.

Three Things I'm Thinking About, Sunday

2010-06-06T03:48:00.001-07:00

1. We sang this hymn in church today. I especially like this verse:

Lead on, O King eternal,
Till sin’s fierce war shall cease,
And holiness shall whisper
The sweet amen of peace.
For not with swords’ loud clashing,
Nor roll of stirring drums;
With deeds of love and mercy,
The heavenly kingdom comes.

-Ernest Shertleff (from "Lead on, O King Eternal,
written in 1888)

2. Left my egg sandwich breakfast on the arm of the Adirondack chair on the porch this morning to go in and get some cantaloupe to have with it. When I came back Cali had snatched the top half of the English muffin and was enjoying it!

3. Just finished "Pigs in Heaven" for book group on Tuesday -- great book, heartwarming, funny, lots of info about Cherokee family structure. I liked it. One of the main characters is a little girl named Turtle. That added to my enjoyment.

Seven Things I'm Thinking About, Saturday

2010-06-05T14:03:00.001-07:00

1. Jim N Nicks BBQ is good even if you are eating vegetarian. Chopped southern salad -- mmm mmm good! Cali is enjoying the smoked chicken that came with it.

2. I miss seeing Meghan and the gang in California. Hope to get out there to see everyone sometime this summer. Charlotte is growing too fast -- but at least she still remembers me when I come back now. I like being her "Oh My Darlin'" or "Grama Darlin'"

3. Tom has been working hard in the yard today, I've been napping.

4. Cali needs shots and check up this month. Also getting her nails clipped and teeth cleaned. She needs some pampering!

5. My step-son seems to be bouncing back from the end of his very short-lived marriage and I'm so glad. He is a great young man and deserves a woman who will appreciate him and make him as happy as he always tries to make the woman in his life. He is, indeed, his father's son!

6. I'm thinking we need to add a wooden porch swing to the children's play structure we have in the backyard. There is plenty of room for one and the grands could still have individual swings on one side.

7. The clearance plants I got last week seem to be revived. Let's hope I can keep them going!

Five Things I'm Thinking About, Friday

2010-06-04T09:29:00.000-07:00

1. I admire older folks who decide to give the computer a try. My mom and dad are doing that, and thought they get confused sometimes, they like that it gets them connected with friends and family members in a new way. My neighbor, Carolyn, is also connected and just had me install a new printer so she can print coupons! Way to go neighbor!

2. Watching news about the gulf oil spill is so depressing. Even more depressing is that rather than bringing the country together to find a solution to keep these kinds of problems from happening again, it is all about politics and blame on all sides of the political spectrum. I remember sitting in my California high school and elementary school geography classes studying about the far away "Gulf of Mexico" and never thinking about it much. But now that I have lived in the south for nearly 20 years, and enjoyed many vacations on the white sands of that gulf, I'm deeply saddened by what is happening there. This pelican seems to be pleading, "Help us, please!"

3. I like sitting at the computer on my exercise balance ball. It is much more comfortable than the chair I usually use. I just took a picture using the timer function of me sitting on it. I will not be posting that picture! Little did I know how that ball can spread out one's a$$!

4. I have, unfortunately, rediscovered ice cream sandwiches. Ephraim and Sarah were supposed to eat the box I bought last weekend, but since they were sick.... The fortunate thing is that they are making them much smaller than when I was a kid.

5. So, I'm trying twitter since I've given up FB. I can be found at terlynwri. But I'm still learning how to do this!

6. Since I'm publishing this on Saturday, the title should be, Five Things I Thought About, Friday. Oh well.

Seven Things I'm Thinking About, Thursday

2010-06-03T05:47:00.000-07:00

1. Currently reading, "Pigs in Heaven" by Barbara Kingsolver. A couple of quotes I like:

"The hardest thing about motherhood, she thinks, is that you can never again be the baby of your family, not even for ten seconds."

"But kids don't stay with you if you do it right. It's the one job where, the better your are, the more surely you won't be needed in the long run."

2. Reading this book for my Tuesdays with Books book group at the local library. I've been reading with this wise group of ladies since we first moved to Tennessee.

3. A couple of these ladies have also become beyond book group friends. Betty, Cheryl and I have been spending at least one day a week together for the past year. We go thrifting, on nature walks, to lectures at local colleges, afternoon concerts, or just out to lunch. We are also CHEAP and look for all the free stuff Nashville has to offer. Here they are at one of our outings in January. That's Cheryl on the right and Betty on the left.

4. Today we went to a noontime/brown bag lecture at the TN Wildlife Resource Center about eagles. It was pretty interesting but the knowledgeable lecturer was a snoozer! He had some biblical quotes about eagles in the resource materials. I like this one from Deuteronomy 32, "Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, that flutters over its young, spreading out its wings, catching them, bearing them on its pinions; the Lord alone did lead him"

5. And then, of course we hit a Thrift Store but I only found a book... something else to add to the large collection of books I want to read in the future. Phillip Yancey's "What's So Amazing About Grace?" Cheryl found some table linens, and a butterfly dish. Betty was empty-handed. She has more discipline than we do!!

6. Got a call from the Nashville Symphony today. Mary Chapin Carpenter concert has been moved to TPAC -- the seats we have there are alot better than the original ones at the symphony hall, but I'm sad the hall is still recovering from the floods.

7. Oh, and Erin, this one is for you. For the past month I have been washing my hair with a mixture of one tablespoon of baking soda and one cup of water poured over my dry hair, rinse that out, and then use one tablespoon of vinegar in one cup of water as a final rinse. Rinse it all out and wa la -- clean manageable hair! And best of all this way of washing does NOT strip the color out!! (But don't worry I will never make contact solution....)

Six Things I'm Thinking About, Wednesday

2010-06-02T14:06:00.000-07:00

1. I have deleted my Facebook account and decided to start blogging once again. We will see how this goes.

2. I love these kiddos. Even though they were sick for much of the weekend we had together, they had rallied on Sunday afternoon and I got these shots of them having fun in the backyard (thanks to grandad for setting up all the water toys). The giant globe sprays out water. I think I was showing them Alabama, Tennessee and Florida. Sarah only wanted to know where the volcanoes were.

3. I love our front porch (well, actually, I love our entire house) but today I'm highlighting the front porch. Where I just planted some geraniums that were on clearance from the Kroger Marketplace. Blooming plants add so much to the area. Come and sit a spell -- I'll make some sweet tea!

4. "Joan of Arcadia" is an awesome television show. I didn't watch it when it was on broadcast but cable has it now and I love it. The premise is based on the Joan Osbourne song "What if God were One of Us?" Great cast, stories, and humor. (But I'd still never want to go back to high school!)

5. Mary Chapin Carpenter has a new CD out. Amazing as always. "The Age of Miracles". Her music will always have a special place in my heart -- she was the soundtrack of my life during my single years (between marriages). Can't wait to see her live next month.

6. I can't figure out how to get the pictures to have space between them. Will save that for another day.

Making Cookies

2010-02-16T07:48:00.001-08:00

Despite the cold and flurries yesterday, I decided to see if C (my Big Brothers Big Sisters, lil' sis) could come out and play! Her mom said she could so I went over to pick her up and we came back here to make cookies. She said she had never made cookies from scratch before so we had fun mixing and measuring and scooping. We made a double batch of oatmeal chocolate chip and I sent most of them back home with her to share with her mom and sisters. It was a fun afternoon and I'm glad she was able to come over to play! Here are a couple of pics of her working hard! (She was great at clean-up too!)

Grama's House

2010-02-08T11:07:00.000-08:00

I hope that my grandkids always look forward to coming to "Grama's House" they way I used to when I was a kid. I would rather spend time there than any place in the world. Over the past month three of our grands have spent a good amount of time with us and I have documented it with pictures.

Ephraim spent about five days while his mom and sis were in Boston. We had a good time! One of the highlights was going to Granddad's office for a visit. He loved running up and down the very very long hallways and then had a nice time visiting with one of his mom's blog lurkers who has been following his and his sister's development since the beginning. Here he is sitting on "Mimi's" lap...

And here's what he was looking at:

Sarah also spent some time here doing her favorite things...

And Brody was here just this week doing one of his favorite things....

It's always fun with the kiddos around!

Just wish Charlotte could have joined us for some fun.

Brody

2010-01-26T18:17:00.000-08:00

This little guy is five years old! Can't believe he has grown so fast. He was born just a year and a half after his granddad and I got married and I'm so blessed to call him grandson! This picture was taken in June at his Uncle Craig's wedding. Brody was the ring bearer and did a great job of trudging a long way through the sand while helping the two year old flower girl at the same time! He's a sweet boy and I only wish we lived closer so we could spend more time together!

Halloween 2009

2010-01-26T14:58:00.000-08:00

In October Grandad and I spent about a week in California seeing all of the family and spending some extra special time with Charlotte. This is the first time I was able to go trick-or-treating with her and we had a ball! I don't get to see her as often as the rest of the grands but she does still remember me and I am proud to be known as her "grama darlin'"! Here she is in the ballerina costume her mom custom made for her.

Christmas Gift

2010-01-26T06:29:00.000-08:00

This year I received some wonderful gifts and have been enjoying all of them, but I must say that my favorite is from my sweet little Sarah. This past summer Sarah was in an art class. With lots of help she painted a few canvases. I was the lucky recipient of one that beautifully matches my vintage kitchen. Thanks, Sarah!

Grandson

2010-01-25T10:17:00.001-08:00

This little guy is spending the next four days with Grandad and me. Today has been cold and blowing snow flurries so we have stayed in but tomorrow when it warms up we are heading out for some fun! His mom and sis are in Boston visiting friends, and his dad is working hard out of town so we got the pleasure of two year old company. Takes me back to those young mother days....

Little Sister

2010-01-21T15:14:00.000-08:00

In December, after waiting for nearly five months, I was matched by Big Brothers Big Sisters of Middle Tennessee with my new Little Sis. We were introduced in her home by our match coordinator, and I also met her mother and two younger sisters. After our meeting we headed to Starbucks for coffee/hot chocolate to get to know each other a little better.

C is a ten year old 5th grader whose parents are divorced. She loves school, reads at a 9th grade level, wants to be a teacher for the blind when she grows up and is a loving little girl. I feel absolutely blessed to be a part of her life.

And thankful that her mother enrolled her in this wonderful program

Rest in Peace

2009-09-11T18:04:00.000-07:00

For the past few years on September 11th, I have spent some time in prayer and contemplation and then read this poem aloud.

REST IN PEACE

by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat

I am a World Trade Center tower, standing tall in the clear blue sky, feeling a violent blow in my side,
and I am a towering inferno of pain and suffering imploding upon myself and collapsing to the ground.
May I rest in peace.

I am a terrified passenger on a hijacked airplane not knowing where we are going or that I am riding on fuel tanks that will be instruments of death,
and I am a worker arriving at my office not knowing that in just a moment my future will be obliterated.
May I rest in peace.

I am a pigeon in the plaza between the two towers eating crumbs from someone's breakfast when fire rains down on me from the skies,
and I am a bed of flowers admired daily by thousands of tourists now buried under five stories of rubble.
May I rest in peace.

I am a firefighter sent into dark corridors of smoke and debris on a mission of mercy only to have it collapse around me,
and I am a rescue worker risking my life to save lives who is very aware that I may not make it out alive.
May I rest in peace.

I am a survivor who has fled down the stairs and out of the building to safety who knows that nothing will ever be the same in my soul again,
and I am a doctor in a hospital treating patients burned from head to toe who knows that these horrible images will remain in my mind forever.
May I know peace.

I am a tourist in Times Square looking up at the giant TV screens thinking I'm seeing a disaster movie as I watch the Twin Towers crash to the ground,
and I am a New York woman sending e-mails to friends and family letting them know that I am safe.
May I know peace.

I am a piece of paper that was on someone's desk this morning and now I'm debris scattered by the wind across lower Manhattan,
and I am a stone in the graveyard at Trinity Church covered with soot from the buildings that once stood proudly above me, death meeting death.
May I rest in peace.

I am a dog sniffing in the rubble for signs of life, doing my best to be of service, and I am a blood donor waiting in line to make a simple but very needed contribution for the victims.
May I know peace.

I am a resident in an apartment in downtown New York who has been forced to evacuate my home,
and I am a resident in an apartment uptown who has walked 100 blocks home in a stream of other refugees.
May I know peace.

I am a family member who has just learned that someone I love has died,
and I am a pastor who must comfort someone who has suffered a heart-breaking loss.
May I know peace.

I am a loyal American who feels violated and vows to stand behind any military action it takes to wipe terrorists off the face of the earth,
and I am a loyal American who feels violated and worries that people who look and sound like me are all going to be blamed for this tragedy.
May I know peace.

I am a frightened city dweller who wonders whether I'll ever feel safe in a skyscraper again,
and I am a pilot who wonders whether there will ever be a way to make the skies truly safe.
May I know peace.

I am the owner of a small store with five employees that has been put out of business by this tragedy,
and I am an executive in a multinational corporation who is concerned about the cost of doing business in a terrorized world.
May I know peace.

I am a visitor to New York City who purchases postcards of the World Trade Center Twin Towers that are no more,
and I am a television reporter trying to put into words the terrible things I have seen.
May I know peace.

I am a boy in New Jersey waiting for a father who will never come home,
and I am a boy in a faraway country rejoicing in the streets of my village because someone has hurt the hated Americans.
May I know peace.

I am a general talking into the microphones about how we must stop the terrorist cowards who have perpetrated this heinous crime,
and I am an intelligence officer trying to discern how such a thing could have happened on American soil,
and I am a city official trying to find ways to alleviate the suffering of my people.
May I know peace.

I am a terrorist whose hatred for America knows no limit and I am willing to die to prove it,
and I am a terrorist sympathizer standing with all the enemies of American capitalism and imperialism,
and I am a master strategist for a terrorist group who planned this abomination. My heart is not yet capable of openness, tolerance, and loving. May I know peace.

I am a citizen of the world glued to my television set, fighting back my rage and despair at these horrible events,
and I am a person of faith struggling to forgive the unforgivable, praying for the consolation of those who have lost loved ones, calling upon the merciful beneficence of God/Lord/Allah/Spirit/Higher Power.
May I know peace.

I am a child of God who believes that we are all children of God and we are all part of one another. May we all know peace.

An Open Letter to My Grandchildren, On the Inauguration of Barack Obama

2009-01-20T11:25:00.000-08:00

Dear Brody, Sarah, Charlotte, and Ephraim,

As I sit here watching the pomp and circumstance of the Inauguration of another American president, it has occurred to me that this president is the first to be elected during your lifetimes. Brody, you were born just three weeks after the presidential election of 2004, and Ephraim, your birth was nearly a year before Barack Obama was elected.

I hope by the time you are each able to read and understand these thoughts and observations that you will not think that this election was anything special. I hope that you will have seen Americans of all colors and ethnicities serving as leaders not only in government but in all walks of life. But today that is not the case. Today is special. Today brings tears to my eyes. Today Barack Obama becomes president of the United States of America. Today your Grama celebrates the country into which you were born.

Yesterday we celebrated the birthday of another great American, Martin Luther King, Jr. He died 40 years ago but in one of his last and most famous speeches he once said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Today feels like the beginning of the fulfillment of that dream, and I pray that this is the case.

I think that your parents, and parents everywhere, have that same dream for their children that Martin Luther King, Jr. had for his children. You are each named for people of character whom your parents love and admire; people who can serve as outstanding role models in your lives. I'd like to tell you what I know about them in the hopes that you will someday read this and understand a little about the character of the people whose names you share.

Brody, your middle name, Thomas, is for your granddad who is your mom’s father and my husband. He was a police officer who was respected by his fellow officers and his community. He received many awards during his career, but the one he told me he was most proud of was from a group called COUL (Community of Unified Leadership). This group was formed in 1971 to help the city of Anniston deal with racial problems. Your grandfather was the first (and maybe the only) police officer to receive this honor. This tells me that in his duties as a police officer he was recognized as someone who treated people with respect no matter the color of their skin. He also loves his family very much. He was a good son, an Eagle Scout, and he always studied hard in school. He has taught Sunday School, and always regularly attends church. He is a wonderful father to your mama and your Uncle Craig. He works hard, and he loves you with all his heart. Thomas is a name you should be very proud to share with him.

Sarah Lorraine, you have two names from two very special ladies. When your mom was only 16 years old she met a lady named Sarah Finch who was 87. They became great friends. She had a wonderful sense of humor and cared deeply about anyone who came into her life. She worked very hard her whole life and took care of her mama and her daddy and her husband when they were very sick. She loved your mama very very much, and your mom loved Sarah Finch so much that she always told her when she had a little girl she was going to name her Sarah. Lorraine is the name of my grama, your mom’s great-grandmother. She was the best grama a child could have and loved all of her grandchildren, but she cared about other people too. When I was a child she lived by the railroad tracks, and I can remember how “hobos” who would be passing through our town on the train would come to her back door and she would give them something to eat. They seemed to know that a kind lady lived in that house. Sarah Lorraine is your name now, Sarah, but it comes from two very loving and strong women. When your mama and daddy gave you that name I think they had hopes that you too will grow up to be as strong and loving as they were.

Charlotte, your middle name, Ann, is also your Grama Karen’s middle name. I have only known your Grama for a few years but I know her to be a wonderful person. She lovingly raised seven children, including your daddy, to be strong and caring adults. She also taught school for many years and helped other people's children, many of them black, Latino and Asian, learn not only their academic lessons but also about how to grow up to be good people. She and your Grampa Tom have counseled young married couples. She works hard in her church, volunteers in her community and is a loving grandmother to you and your cousins. I hope that you, Charlotte, grow up to share not only your Grama Karen's middle name but also her beautiful and loving spirit.

Ephraim, your middle name is McCray. It is the maiden name of your daddy's grandmother; your JoJo's mother. The only things I know about her is that your daddy loved her very much, and that she raised your JoJo. That alone tells me what a great woman she must have been because your JoJo is very special. She raised your daddy and your Uncle Tory to be outstanding men and fathers. She taught school for nearly 30 years, served in her church as an elder, a choir member, a worship leader, and a Sunday School teacher. She delivers meals-on-wheels, visits shut-ins, takes care of your Papa and loves you, Sarah and Lily with all her heart. I know your middle name McCray is special because it belonged to the woman who raised your JoJo to be someone who cares deeply about others no matter what their color or background. You will do well, Ephraim, if you remember where your middle name came from and that you share that family name and background with your very special JoJo.

So today as I watch the Inaguration of our first African American president, I think back on the history of this country and how far we have come, but I also look forward. I think of the four of you growing up in a country more inclusive than the one I came up in, and what that will mean for you. I think of your names and hope that you will each know and remember where your names came from. I think of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s dream and I hope that you will each grow to be caring adults who will be judged by others only by the content of your character.

But my most fervent prayer for you is that each of you will grow to be a member of that nation that Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke of. That nation that will judge others not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I pray that you will have friends of all races, ethnicities, religions, and backgrounds. And that you will not see or focus on the differences between you but on the things you all have in common. I pray that you will not see color but will always look for character in all who come into your lives.

Someday when you are older and I talk to you about what today means to me and maybe watch videos of it with you, and you see your old Grama getting sentimental and choked up, I hope you will try to understand, and that you will know the important history of what happened today. But I also hope that you will look at me and wonder "What is the big deal?" Someday, I pray it is no longer a big deal, but today it is. Today I celebrate the Inaguaration of the first president elected during your lifetimes, and the first African American president elected during my lifetime.

Love, Grama

Cloth Diapering circa 1978

2008-02-11T05:58:00.000-08:00

Okay ladies, I know you are all excited about the prospect of using cloth diapers for your babies and I commend all of you for that! But remember, for your grandmothers cloth diapers were the only choice and oftentimes the diapers they used were made of the cloth from cast off clothing, and if your mothers used cloth diapers, most of them were probably doing it out of economic necessity as disposables were pretty expensive as I remember.

I personally feel that disposable diapers are an item whose time has come and GONE! (and I'm so glad you ladies are helping them to get on their way!) When my first child was born in 1978 disposable diapers were just beginning to come into the mainstream and were fast becoming the preferred way of diapering used by most of my friends. I kept some in the house to use for outings but quickly discovered that Meghan would break out with diaper rash if I used them so stuck strictly to cloth. Those of us back then who used cloth diapers were looked at as a little strange for not wanting to use such a modern convenience. I'm sure some folks look at you all that way now. But if others only knew how truly simple it is once you have a system down I think more parents would be willing to try it.

Our choices back then were flat-fold or pre-fold. I used flat fold. Basically a rectangular piece of diaper quality guaze that you folded to fit the size of your baby. (What many of you used as burp cloths) My mom recommended these as this is what she used and I remembered diapering my younger brother and sister using these. Both the flat-fold and pre-fold were used with diaper pins and rubber pants. The covers that are used now basically takes the place of pins and rubber pants as the velcro can be pulled tight enough to keep the diaper in place. The rubber pants of the past were made of plastic with elastic legs and waistband.

The diapers I used lasted through two babies, as well as the overlap time (about 15 months) when they were both in diapers at the same time. Because they were a flat piece of cloth instead of having the folds sewn in they were much easier to wash and dry. I used a diaper pail half full of water mixed with "Borax" in which the diapers would soak until ready to wash. When it was full I dumped the entire pail contents into the washer, spun out the "Borax" water, and washed. During the first year I used a dryer and because they were a single ply piece of cloth they dried very quickly. The last two years I did not have a dryer and in the winter sometimes had to use the radiators in each room of the house to hang the diapers. (Since the radiators were only allowed to be on about four hours a night I had to make sure on diaper washing day that they were all on the radiators by the time they were to be turned on). In the summer they hung on the line outside.

When they came out of the dryer or off the radiator or line I then folded them to fit the current size of my babies. When they were both in diapers I had two stacks of different sizes folded and ready for use. With newborns one diaper was enough, but as they grew I usually folded two diapers together for each diaper change.

During a diaper change sometimes I used "diaper liners". These were small blue disposable inserts that would catch the poop and make it easier to clean the diaper after a bowel movement. These were not disposable at that time and eventually I just quit using them and rinsed the diaper directly into the toilet if necessary. I've noticed on-line that you can now get biodegradable flushable inserts to use inside cloth diapers.

For "wipes" I just used washcloths. Before getting ready to change my baby I would let the water run warm, wet a washcloth with the warm water and then use it during the diaper change. After use it went into the diaper pail with the diaper.

As I read the systems you have all created for yourselves, I have to admire you for going against the mainstream and doing what you feel is best for your babies, your pocketbook, your families and the environment. Thanks for all of your blogs -- it's a joy to see what you are all doing with your children and babies and be carried back to that joyous time in my own life....

Loss

2007-11-15T08:37:00.000-08:00

In May I received a phone call from Anniston. Rebecca wanted to let me know of Judy's death. She had been sick with congestive heart failure and under hospice care for most of the previous year but it still came as a shock. We had stayed in touch after my move to Tennessee through sporatic and spontaneous phone calls. We talked as we had when we were together; solving the world's problems in one breath, not giving a flip in the next.

We were destined to become friends after many chance meetings during our years in Anniston. She had returned to care for her ailing mother at about the same time I had moved there with my family. She visited in my home one evening at the invitation of a mutual friend. I sat in awe of her intelligence, her wisdom, and her grace. Months later she visited a PFLAG meeting I often attended in support of my gay nephew. She was doing research for a series of columns she was writing for the local newspaper. Months after this in November 2002 we met together with many others on a cold rainy night for a candlelight vigil for peace. In early 2003 Judy and I stood together often on the corner of 11th and Quintard holding signs protesting the build-up to the Iraq war. The cracked cement of that sidewalk served to bond us together as friends.

Despite being a fairly recent transplant to Anniston, Judy had many friends in our little town. And she felt it her duty to make sure they all knew each other. She strived to introduce friends from one part of her life to friends she knew in other ways. (A new friend of mine here in Tennessee who has worked with Native Americans her entire life and is married to a Cherokee, says that this is the Indian way -- when they meet someone new, the question is not, "what do you do or where do you work?" but "who do you know?" Your friends are your credentials. Judy shared this value). Because of this I met many folks I would not otherwise have known. She loved good conversation, discussion, and debate, and never hesitated to arrange lunches, dinners, and get-togethers among all kinds of folks to facilitate this love.

Judy loved to help folks with their problems. She especially gave sage advice when it came to interpersonal relationships. She had a way about her that made people want to open up. She told it like she saw it, and often that meant telling people things they didn't want to hear. But they always listened and often came back for more. From her closest friends to those she had just met; if she knew your story and you asked for her opinion, you would get it. If you were in her life for whatever reason, she wanted to know you. As you talked, she made you feel like the most important person in her life. And while she was with you, you were. She cared deeply about those in her ever-expanding circle. Her circle included the waitresses at her favorite restaurants, her hospice home health aids, and the mechanic who serviced her car, as well as her close friends. I once returned to the Starbucks's patio after ordering our coffees to find that in a short few minutes she had engaged a young woman sketching images, and that interest had encouraged this budding artist to share her entire sketch pad with Judy. That's how she was with folks.

As sad as I was when I heard of Judy's passing, I had to smile a few days later when I read her initial obituary in the Anniston Star:

"ANNISTON - Funeral services for Mrs. Judy D. Simmons, 62, of Anniston will be announced later by Ervin Funeral Chapel. Mrs. Simmons died Sunday, May 6, 2007 at Regional Medical Center. "

After reading this I shook my head in disbelief. Judy was a part of the women's rights movement from waaaaay back. She was a card-carrying member of NOW and an editor at Ms magazine. She was NEVER a Mrs. and she was "Judy Dothard Simmons". I did not have to wonder at what her reaction would have been.

I recently found this obituary while doing a google search of her name. A much more appropriate and fitting announcement of her departure from this life:

Judy Simmons, Editor and Writer, Dies at 62
Judy Dothard Simmons, 62, a poet, journalist, author and broadcaster, died May 6 in Anniston, Ala., from heart complications, her friend Fern Gillespie said.
Since the 1970s, Simmons' writings and broadcasts won her acclaim. She had been a senior editor at Essence and Ms. magazines, managing editor of the NAACP's Crisis magazine, a columnist for the old Africana.com and an editor at Black Enterprise. During the early 1980s, she had radio talk shows on New York's first black commercial talk station, WLIB, and on Pacifica's WBAI-FM. Her articles appeared in the Village Voice and American Legacy Woman, and she had been a guest on the Phil Donahue show.
During the 1990s, Simmons returned to Alabama and was a columnist for the Anniston (Ala.) Star. A celebrated poet, she was a Revson Fellow at Columbia University and did graduate work in poetry. Simmons was the author of several books of poetry and essays, including "Decent Intentions," "Judith's Blues," and "A Light in the Dark." She was also a contributor to "Wild Women Don't Wear No Blues," a 1993 collection edited by Marita Golden.
Funeral arrangements are pending. She wrote recently, "I'm listening to the fine classical jazz collection I've amassed over the years, putting my affairs in order, loving my dog and my friends, and generally having a good time for the first time in fifteen or twenty years. I am walking through the valley of the shadow of death and feeling damn good about it. I fear no evil, for I AM always and ever living."

RIP Judy. I miss you.

Musings

2007-11-15T07:26:00.001-08:00

I've started following the Core Plan with Weight Watchers. Amazing how much more satisfying it is than the Flex Plan, and the weight is coming off much more quickly. And I'm learning how to cook all kinds of things I would never have tried before. Eight pounds down in three weeks!

I will soon be heading down to Huntsville to take care of Sarah while Erin gives birth to Ephraim. Looking forward to getting the call to hit the road!

No plans for Thanksgiving. This feels strange. Haven't even purchased a turkey. Not knowing if we will be in Huntsville or home so haven't made any plans. If we are home we will figure it out. Flexibility is the key.

Tom and I recently returned from a few days in Puerto Rico. Lived in Panama for two years and loved it but don't think I would do well permanently living somewhere with no change in seasons.

On that note, had our gas logs checked out and pilot turned on this week. So nice to walk by and flip a switch -- swoosh! My dad, who has chopped and carried wood for many years to heat my parents' home, loved that switch when they visited last year!

My nephew, Jake, is doing well in the Navy. Finished the first portion of his A-school, has moved on to the second phase. Should be done by Christmas and then have his first permanent orders in hand.

Our next door neighbors, Marv and Carolyn, are the best! Anytime we are out of town they take in our sweet dog, Cali, and love her like their own. They spoil her so much that we have dubbed them Cali's "grama and grampa". We owe them many thanks for helping us out with our pooch.

This house is feeling exactly like home. Craig was here this week for a couple days. He asked me if I missed the Elizabeth Street house. I had to say no. I rarely if ever think of that house. This house is my home and I've loved turning it into that.

Remedy to help me fall asleep. I was a Navy wife for many years and lived in many different dwellings. So, when I'm having trouble getting to sleep I think back to each home I've ever lived in and try to remember the furniture arragement of each room. It is a good mental exercise but I usually fall asleep by the second or third house.

Tom brewed his first batch of beer a couple months ago. It was good, and has been shared with friends and family. He decided to do this while enjoying beer made by Brent (Erin's hubby). Now, after visiting and tasting some of this first batch, Craig's friend, Stephen, has purchased a kit and decided to whip up a batch of his own!

Plan to try and do better with blogging. I've started many over the past few months but never finished.... today is a new day!

Being Aunt Terry

2007-02-27T08:13:00.000-08:00

There is something about your siblings' kids… When they are babies you want to scoop them up, you stare in wander at the babies they are. You laugh with their parents as they learn to walk and talk. You listen as they relay their concerns about your niece or nephew and their development. Sometimes they call you up just to share a laugh about the funny thing they said. Okay, I know I’m mainly talking about my sister – she and I have talked a lot about our kids over the years, and I feel fortunate that Meghan and Erin who are now adults, consider their Aunt Lori one of their best friends.

But here I am, Aunt Terry. Aunt to mostly boys who are actually pretty unknown creatures to me. My sister’s boys, Noah and Aaron, are at that age (17 and 13) where they aren’t much interested in their own parents, much less a much older Aunt Terry. I enjoy them when I’m in California and we have some funny memories…. Noah at three answers my question “Who’s the best Aunt Terry in the world?” “You’re not!” Funny, that’s not how he answered when Lori asked “Who’s the best mom in the world?” Aaron at five looking up at me when I picked him up from kindergarten one day, “You look like my mom.” Thanks, Aaron – nice to look like a ten year younger sister! Noah sitting on my lap at four, rubbing my face, finding a few stray chin hairs, “You have a beard! Yuck!” Aaron at 12 patiently explaining to his non-California residing Aunt about what skim-boarding is and why he likes it so much. Taking Aaron to the movies to see “Dead Man’s Chest” and getting the tip that we need to buy candy elsewhere because it’s cheaper!

My brother Gary’s kids, Sheri and Kevin, are about the same age as Noah. I see and hear about them even less than I do Noah and Aaron. Gary and I just don’t have the kind of relationship where we call each other and talk about our kids. But I do see them whenever I’m in town and am in awe of how quickly they have grown. Sheri is beautiful and lives on her own now; a young apartment-dweller with a roommate and a full-time job. Kevin is a high school junior; tall, handsome, athletic and focused on a career in law enforcement. Gary and Dana have much to be proud of with these kids.

My brother Mark’s son, Jake, is the reason I started this post. He’s been in my thoughts a lot this past month. He was born in 1983 just as my family began four years of residence just 40 miles from my hometown. I saw him grow from a baby into a toddler and preschooler. He and Mark lived with my parents so whenever we visited he was there growing and changing and wanting to play with Meghan and Erin, his older cousins, who were always fun and patient with him. I saw as he became the light of my grandmother’s eyes during her final years. She lived with my parents and took care of him when everyone else in the house was at work. He loved nothing better than to spend time in her room playing with his cars, sitting on her lap, riding on the back of her wheelchair or whatever else he could talk her into playing with him. He knew loss at a very early age when she died and he was barely six years old. But he and Mark continued to live with Mom and Dad, he grew up surrounded by people who loved him. His dad, his grandparents, his maternal grandmother and aunts who spent time with him whenever they could. But he never had much of a relationship with his own mother; she was in and out of his life, had two more children younger than Jake to take care of and never seemed to worry much about her oldest son. Jake became a black belt in tae kwon do, learned to hunt with his grandfather (my dad) graduated from junior high and high school (my favorite picture of his high school graduation shows him beaming between his grandmothers – his surrogate mothers). He began working for the local school district as a janitor. During the years since high school he seems to have lost his way… he lost jobs, wrecked cars, drank too much, smoked too much (of everything). He ended up without a job and living in a small camping trailer in my parent’s backyard.

His life was going nowhere fast and our parent’s limited retirement income was supporting him. My sister and I had had enough and decided to have an “intervention”. We tried to include Mark and Gary. Mark said he was too close to the situation but he would support whatever we said, Gary opted out because he was afraid of his reaction if Jake “gave him attitude”. So Lori and I began the task… and at first, we got attitude. Jake accused us with our “perfect lives” of looking at him and judging. But then the tide turned, my sister was amazing. She wore down the attitude, she made him look her in the eye, she held his face in her hands, looked him straight in the eye and told him she knew his life had not been easy, that he had not had the best parents in the world, but that she knew he was BETTER than living in a camping trailer in his grandparents’ backyard. Lori talked to him about how depressing it must be to live in that trailer, how upsetting to live off his grandparents, how we knew he didn’t want to live like that but that he needed help to get out of the rut he was in. He cried with us, we stroked him, we supported him, we helped him look at his options, and we eventually helped him make the decision to join the Navy. We took him to the Navy recruiter’s office the next day. It’s been a month since then, he has had some ups and downs, but today he goes to the military in-processing center for his physical, his PT test, the ASFAB test, career counseling, and should be sworn in tomorrow. I’m proud of him for doing this and can’t wait to see how his life will unfold with this new opportunity. But the comment from him that I will always hold close to my heart is what he said when we were all laughing as we left the recruiters’ office that first time. One of the recruiters thought I was his mother, Lori (ten years younger than me and only 20 years older than Jake) was just glad they didn’t think she was his mother. Jake just sat in the back seat as we laughed and said, “I wish.”
Not living near my hometown for the past 35 years has definitely affected the relationships I could or would have had with my siblings’ children. Whenever I’m home and see them all I often wish for a closer relationship but my brothers and sisters have done well by their children and I couldn’t be prouder to call all of them niece and nephew.
Here are some pics with my nephews included. First one, that is Aaron and Noah on the left. Second one, there is Kevin back row left and Jake (Seaman Recruit Jacob D. Keith) front right. Love you guys!!!!

Settled

2006-10-11T06:11:00.000-07:00

That is how I’m feeling right now. We have been in the house for over a month now and it feels like home. It is home. The furniture is placed just the way I had it planned on paper (with a couple of changes). It is a comfortable place where Tom and I can spend time together, throw parties, welcome weekend company, and get to know our new neighbors.

We have already thrown one party. About two weeks ago we welcomed the managers from Tom’s place of employment. Eighteen folks joined us for burgers on the deck, college football in the “TV room” and visiting in the kitchen-living-dining area. I enjoyed giving “tours” of our new home and sharing the space with others.

Our first over-night company arrived the day after we moved in. Jennifer and Brody made the three hour trip up from Alabama and were a great help in getting all of the boxes unpacked. Twenty-two month old Brody’s job was to remove any green inventory stickers he could find on all of the the furniture (I think I will be finding those for the next year!), and Jennifer was a master at unpacking all of the dining room boxes full of glassware, dishes, and knick-knacks. When I was ready to call it a day, she would say, “only two more, let’s do the rest!” She was a great help and I appreciate all the work she (and Brody!) did to help our house become our home.

The following week Erin and Sarah arrived for a week long visit. Most of the boxes had been emptied and put away by then so we had some time to play. We found most of the nearby thrift stores, and visited some of the antique stores I have been eyeing during my travels in the area. Sarah loved the living room and its echo. As soon as Erin put her down on the carpeted floor of the TV room she would head out the door toward the hardwoods of the living room, go down one large sized step, sit on the throw rug and holler just to hear the echo. We would follow her and there she would sit – grinning at us. I started calling it her “magic carpet”.

Craig and a friend of his from Anniston came up a couple weeks ago. They liked the house but were mainly here to check out the Nashville night life. Tom took them downtown to some of the local “watering holes”. The Flying Saucer, Crazy Horse Saloon, and Coyote Ugly are the only ones that come to mind right now. After a quick twenty-four hours visit they were on their way back to Alabama.

We have met lots of our neighbors during walks around the neighborhood. Our next door neighbors, Marv and Carolyn, have been great. Carolyn and I have been walking about a mile together every morning at 7:00. Cali loves it and has definitely figured out the routine. As soon as I start putting my shoes on she is racing toward the front door. They are going to keep Cali for us during the next week while we are in Boston – I have a feeling they will be spoiling her with lots of table scraps!

We have been attending the same church (First Presbyterian Gallatin) for the month since we moved. We enjoy the pastor’s messages, and have been attending the Sunday School class he teaches also. Most of the people have been friendly and we are hoping to get to know them better as we get more involved in the life of this church.

All in all, it has been a good move. The time Tom and I finally have to be together every day for dinner and the evening is wonderful. I miss all of my friends in Anniston and our little church full of wonderful friends and family, but we will be back for a visit soon. Three and a half hours is not all that long when you have such great folks to look forward to seeing.

...for the last time

2006-08-22T06:19:00.000-07:00

I'm meeting my friend Sue for lunch today after the weekly "Pause for Prayer" service at our local "Disciples/Christian" church. I have been attending this service for nearly four years since its inception. I made the comment to Sue that we needed to meet for a late lunch so I could attend this service "for the last time". Her response was that sounded so final...

Well, I guess things are pretty much finalizing. I am doing many things this week that I have done often but will do "for the last time" during the next few days. That is not to say that I won't do some of them again when we arrive here in Anniston for a visit but no longer on a regular basis as a resident.

Today is my last "Pause for Prayer." Rebecca Littlejohn's pastoral prayer during this short half hour of my life has fed my soul each week. Today is my last lunch with Sue -- our friendship was sealed in 2001 when I became a Big Sister in the Big Brother Big Sister program and she interviewed me for the position.

This past weekend Tom and I did the yard for the last time. Mowed, trimmed and blown, we are glad to have that chore behind us. The house does look beautiful after each cleaning but I'm glad we are getting out of here before all these leaves start falling in the yard and pool and driveway....

Judy and I hung-out and played for the last time last Thursday night. Dinner at Outback and a "Frappacino" on the Starbuck's patio. We talked and laughed and loved each other. I will miss our "girlfriend" time.

Brody spent the night in this house with grandad and grama for the last time on Sunday night. The first time he stayed here with us he was less than a month old. He discovered the empty closets -- hiding in them and then yelling "Where's Brody?" Such a delight!

Sunday afternoon Tom drove us on a tour of Anniston for the last time. We drove through the neighborhoods where we both had lived; past houses that had sheltered us over the years. The apartment he lived in when he met Lynn. The houses where he took his newborns home so many years ago. The house where Stan and I first moved our family when we arrived in Anniston fresh from navy retirement 15 years ago.

Today and tomorrow I will probably visit the local "thrift stores" for the last time. Yes, despite packing and preparing to move all of this stuff I still search out the local thrifts just to see what I might find... (we are moving to within five miles of a Goodwill Supercenter!)

This afternoon our home buyers are coming by for a visit. I will show them how to vacuum and care for the pool during this time. This will be the last time for me and the first of many for them. It can actually be a very relaxing chore but I don't think I will really miss it much!

Wednesday night Tom and I will take Craig, Jenn and Brody out to dinner for the last time. We will all sit together as Brody entertains us and I will remember the first time I met this "Wright Family" and how often we have sat together like this.

Wednesday night I will also turn the white mini lights on and sit out on the deck for the last time. I will remember the good times spent out there with family and friends. I will give thanks for this place and my heart will ache just a little...

On Thursday at around noon Tom and I will pull out of the driveway and make our way down Elizabeth Street. At the bottom of the hill we will pass Tenth Street School and First Presbyterian Church . No longer residents of Anniston we will drive on past Mike's Tire and Auto, the post office, Mata's Greek Pizza and Grinders, Dad's BBQ, Martin's Department Store, Smith Cleaners, and Carpenetti's Italian Restaurant. Later that afternoon our new adventure will begin when we cross the Alabama-Tennesee stateline "for the first time" and head on to our new home....

Obsessed

2006-08-13T07:14:00.000-07:00

My daughters can attest to the fact that I have a somewhat obsessive streak to my being (Erin has inherited it, I think)... and it has caused me to be obsessed with this move. I pack by day using all of the tricks I watched the packers use during my many past moves. I mark the boxes with the room where the box should be delivered. I try to not combine too many items from different rooms in the same box to keep from having to sort too much at the destination. I worry about some of my antiques being lost or damaged in the move. But, oh, how I'm looking forward to the new house....

So, I spend most of the days packing, staying up until midnight some nights, and then fall asleep exhausted only to wake a few hours later thinking about the new house. I toss and turn planning the furniture placement, the closets, the stereo speakers and wiring, the silverware drawers and cupboards. I think of the furniture I want to paint and refinish before putting it in the house, I wonder which color rugs to order for the hardwood floor areas and if the curtains I have will fit the new windows. If I'm lucky I go back to sleep within an hour or so.

Some nights I think about what my life will be like in the new house. The biggest change is that Tom and I will be together every night! We can actually have dinner together, take walks in the evening, and enjoy having a normal life rather than one where he is home only on weekends. I think about making friends and finding a church. I hope for a friend or two among our neighbors in "Chestnut Glen". I think about the friends I have here in Anniston and how I will miss them all terribly. Even though I don't see many of them on a regular basis it is nice to have lived in a place long enough to expect to run into someone you know at the grocery or hardware store or restaurant. I hope that some of them will come up to Nashville for a visit. It will be nice to get settled in Tennessee but I know that a part of my heart will stay here in Anniston just as part of it still lives in the California area where I spent my childhood and where much of my family still lives.

The New House

2006-08-08T16:07:00.000-07:00

Things are moving right along toward our move at the end of the month. We had a small bump in the road last week when our buyers had the home inspected and as a result wanted the furnace replaced. It wasn't an unreasonable request as the furnace is as old as the house -- nearly 40 years. We compromised by taking $2,000 off the purchase price and the deal is still on. We close the sale on this house on August 23rd. But I've closed on this house in my heart and mind already....

I have packed up the entire place -- there are only about four boxes, besides the kitchen, that need to be packed, and the kitchen has only what we needed until moving left to be packed. My heart has moved on to Tennessee and the new house. I have studied the floor plan and pictures we've taken and, as of today, have arranged all of our furniture in the new house. I drew a large floor plan on graph paper, measured all of the furniture, and placed it where I think it should go. Now to get moved and actually arranged the way I want it.

I'm finding that with a brand new house there is much more to do than when moving into one that has been previously occupied. We will have to buy and install curtain rods and window treatments in all rooms. Bathrooms need towel racks and shower curtain rods. Putting that first nail in the wall to hang pictures is going to be like getting the first scratch on a brand new car. I'm planning to refinish some of our furniture and paint a large shelf unit once we get settled in. There are also a few items of furniture we will need to buy down the road but for now we will be all set for company with two guest rooms available by the middle of September! Come on down!

The yard is another story. New construction avails nearly nothing in the way of landscaping: no already established shrubs or bushes, no trees providing shade. A minimal amount is done in the front to make the home attractive to buyers, but the back is a weed bed! There is also a slope that we are planning to deal with by bringing in top soil and building a wall along the property line. And, of course, we will be putting up a privacy fence to keep Cali in. I told Tom that I will deal with the inside and he can make plans for the outside, and the huge garage! We are anxious to get my parents to come out for a visit -- when I first moved into my current house my dad and father-in-law planned and helped build an awesome work bench in the middle of the garage. We are hoping to put Dad's talents to work again in the garage of this house.

I would post some pictures but Tom doesn't want anyone to see what it looks like unless they come for a visit. I'm sure once we move, the newness has worn off some, and we have had a few visitors, he will change his mind. Maybe in a month or so!

Tennesseans by the end of the month and a motorcycle...

2006-08-02T06:04:00.000-07:00

The offer on our house had firmed up while I was gone during July to the point that we have a signed contract, earnest money, and a closing date for August 23rd...whew! That means a dwelling place in Tennessee needed to be had by the end of this month. I spent much of my time last month sitting at MDC's (Meghan Dave Charlotte) computer in California, and then EBS's (Erin Brent Sarah) in Colorado, looking at real estate. Before I left for California at the end of June I had spent a day with our real estate agent (Susan Tant) looking at new properties. I saw so many houses in various stages of finish that they all began to morph together... but there was one house that stood out from the others. First I didn't like it, then Tom liked it alot, then I liked it even more, then Tom changed his mind. We took a look at it (and many other properties) again when we got back to Nashville after the jaunts out west. Finally, we decided that it had everything we wanted. Went with our agent to the builder's on-site sales agent and wrote up a contract. Because it was not yet completed we were able to choose carpet color, kitchen hardware, hardwood floor finish, have some tile and a closet added to the bonus room, and a couple of doors removed. This house had been on the market for 150 days so we took a chance and offered $10,000 less than the asking price with all of the changes we wanted. And they took it! So, if all goes as planned, we will be moving into our brand new home in Lebanon, TN by the end of the month. Though our new home is actually in Wilson County with a Lebanon address, we are much closer to Gallatin and will probably claim that as our town for shopping, church, etc.

I have begun packing in earnest and am surrounded by boxes. Newpapers have been saved in the garage since early last year and are now being put to good use. Many moves spent in the past watching military-hired movers pack my things into boxes is now serving me well. I remember well how carefully my things were usually packed and am trying to do the same now. The moving van is scheduled to arrive early on August 24th and we will be on our way!

Leaving this house is right. I have grieved, remembered, and celebrated my time here (see April 12, 2006 post) and am now ready to move on. Tom and I are looking forward to having a place that is "ours" with no ties to our past lives. A place where we will celebrate and make new memories of our own.

On another note... in the midst of the craziness of trying to get ready for the move, tearing things out of closets, sorting and purging, Tom decides to see if I was, perhaps, serious about my anniversary gift to him (see June 28, 2006 post). He invited his good friend Glenn and his wife Teresa over on Saturday. They rode over on their totally decked out Honda Goldwing motorcycle (my sister says it is an "old fogies" bike). Glenn took me for a ride around Anniston and out into the country roads of Dearmanville. I was apprehensive at first but must say that the experience grew on me. The seat was totally comfortable -- had arm rests with cupholders, speakers in the helmets to talk with Glenn, and an XM radio hook-up. I did enjoy the experience and have not totally ruled out the possibility in the future.... but first we have a house to buy!

How is it....

2006-07-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

that I was just in my mid-twenties giving birth, loving, nursing, and mothering my babies, and now just the next day, it is my girls doing the same thing. The time in between; the milestones of walking and talking, learning to read or ride a bike, graduating from high school and then college, engagements, and weddings; these all pale in comparison to seeing my daughters as mothers. They seem to know so much more than I did as a new parent....how did I possibly raise these two wonderful creatures when I knew so little? It seems they taught ME as we went along about what they needed and what was best for them. And now they are learning those same things from their daughters. Sarah has conveyed to Erin without words over the past eight months what she needs from her mommy; and little Charlotte, who is not yet a week old, is letting Meghan know what is necessary for her to thrive. Somehow the beings we bring into the world let us know first what their bodies need, and then, as we go along, what their spirits need from us until they can be out on their own. We learn with fits and starts how to meet those needs and hope that what we have done was the right thing.

As infants and children we easily let others know what we need but somewhere along the way we lose that ability. We are taught that it's not polite to ask for or demand what it is we need. We subjugate our own needs to the needs of others, and often have to relearn those skills. Finding out all over again that being assertive and asking for what we need is not impolite or selfish but is necessary for our souls to survive. We need only look at babies to know that. If they didn't ask for what they needed their survival might surely be in jeopardy. Anyway, before I get any more philosophical here are some pictures of my babies with their babies....

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She's Beautiful

2006-07-02T15:25:00.000-07:00

Charlotte Ann Ryan has arrived and I have fallen in love! Meghan did a great job bringing her into the world at high noon on July 1st. Just as with Sarah eight months ago I was in the delivery room and watched her make her way into the world. This little family of Ryans was surrounded by family as Charlotte was born -- Aunt Deedee (Erin) was on the cell phone listening as she made her first sound, Great Aunts, Lori and Dana, were just outside the curtain waiting with cousin Sheri, and Grandad. Grandad had Grampa Tom and Grama Karen on the phone so they could listen for the first sounds of their first granddaughter. Charlotte's birth was definitely a family affair. And she is beautiful.... see for yourself!

My Tommy and the Jubi-Wedding

2006-06-28T07:21:00.000-07:00

Three years ago today Tom and I got married (this picture is from Meg and Dave's wedding last year). We had been dating for over four years and most of our family and friends (especially our children) had been wondering outloud and often when we were going to get married! Well, we knew when and where and how... but few others did.

In Spring of 2002 we knew we were engaged though few others did. Tom gave me a diamond necklace that served as our reminder of that commitment but others thought it was just a Valentine's gift. I had decided in my late forties that I was going to celebrate turning 50 with a huge party. The plans began in 2002 and continued until June 28th, 2003.

Invitations were sent, Meghan and Erin decorated the space I had rented, the caterer prepared the delicious foods, and the coolers were filled with beer. My parents, sister and her family flew in from California, Tom's cousin and wife from Detroit drove down, a few of our friends who worked with Tom arrived from other southern states, and all of our local friends from church and the community were invited. All had been sent invitations to attend a "Jubilee" celebrating my 50th birthday. Meghan had even made matching dresses for herself, Erin and me to wear to the party -- all out of the same fabric but in each of our own style.

The fanfare began as Tom and I welcomed everyone and introduced our out-of-town guests. Then my daughters took over and begn a "roast" of their mother. After six or eight folks came up to tell lies about me, Tom came to my rescue and talked of our relationship. He ended his roast with the words, "... and that's why I want to live the rest of my life with this woman." He asked my parents and daughters for my hand as our friends looked on and settled in for a birthday turned anniversary party. But from the back of the room a voice could be heard .... the minister of our church stood and said, "Well, Tom, if you had a marriage license I could perform the ceremony right now." We looked at each other, grinned, and told our guests we would be right back....

We left the room with our children and changed into our "wedding duds"! Even our children did not know about our plans so they were VERY surprised but excited about what was about to happen. While we were out of the room, my bestfriend, Joyce, and her husband, Bill, who had also flown in from California, passed out new invitations to everyone indicating that they were really there for a wedding not a birthday party. While we were out the DJ played Tom's choice, "When I'm 64", my choice, "Grow Old Along With Me", and we re-entered the room to the beautiful lyrics of the "Wedding Song."

Of the one hundred people who came to celebrate my birthday, there were about eight who knew they were actually attending a wedding. We still have folks who were there talk about what great fun our wedding was, and we are extremely happy about how it all came together just as we planned....

But the wedding was just the beginning. The past three years have been a blessing beyond what I could ever imagine. Tom is an amazing husband. He is kind and loving, and generous to a fault. He takes care of me, loves me, and goes out of his way to do things that he thinks will make me happy. He's always full of fun and surprises, and anxious for us to do and try new things, and go to new places. He listens to me and cares about what I have to say. He's a wonderful father, loving grandfather, and has been the best "birthday" gift a 50 year old girl could receive! Happy Anniversary, Tommy! For your gift.... I have been considering joining you in this adventure ! I love you and can't wait to move to Nashville so we can be together more!

Life In South Beach Miami

2006-06-24T05:33:00.000-07:00

Tom and I just returned from a week long vacation in Florida. He was working for part of it but for four wonderful days he was all mine and we spent the time down in South Beach Miami. We did the usual tourist things – took a tour (water and land) around the area to hear all about the place from the tour guides’ canned spiel. But the rest of the time we were on our own. The car stayed in the hotel parking garage and we walked or rode the local shuttle.

Watching people hop on and off the twenty-five cent “South Beach Local", as the brightly colored buses are referred to by those living in the area, got me to thinking about how living in a big city is different from living in a rural area or a suburb. The first ride on the “local” was just to see the sights. It dumped us out at the end of the line which was a Publix grocery store. What an eye-opener it was to see folks bring their grocery carts full of purchases out of the store and push them onto a conveyor belt (or a large elevator) which took them up to the store roof parking deck. Those without cars brought their purchases out and hopped on the “local” for a ride home. It made me think how much more complicated forgetting an item would be. The ease of driving to the store, parking in the lot, running in for the item and heading back home is non-existent when you don’t have a car or the parking deck is on the roof.

We also did lots of walking. I loved it! When we wanted lunch, we walked to the nearby café. When we wanted to peruse the local thrift stores we mapped it out and walked the ten blocks to get there. For dinners we headed up Ocean Drive and stopped at one of the many restaurants (not franchises!) located in the bottom floors of the old Art Deco hotels built in the 1930’s and 1940’s. The best way to see all of the beautiful Art Deco architecture from this era is by walking. South Beach has over 800 buildings which are protected by historic ordinances (you can see some of them here), and it seemed every time we turned a corner we came across another unusual building with lots of chrome or geometric shapes incorporated into the structure.

When we visit a large city we are often enamored by the “city life” but I don’t think we ever really know exactly what it would be like. Grocery shopping, as I noted, would be very different. But so would other kinds of shopping – most cities don’t have room for large scale malls with acres of parking lots, so the shops are in the store fronts of high-rise buildings. South Beach’s “Lincoln Road” is the country’s first “pedestrian mall” – five or six blocks of Lincoln Road have been closed to automobile traffic and opened to pedestrians. The area which was once a road is now full of tables for eating outside, trees, flowers, and kiosks selling trinkets and jewelry.

City life would also mean having a private yard give way to enjoying city parks. Lummus Park, the oceanside lawn right next to our hotel was constantly in use. It was a favorite place for folks to walk, play with, or train their dogs. This part of Miami is extremely dog-friendly; this park even provided “doggy bags” to pick-up after your pooch. Everywhere we went we came across people who had their dogs with them, some with more than one, each on their own leash; walking easily without becoming tangled. Many restaurants and café’s offered water bowls for their patrons’ pets. Seeing so many folks enjoying their canines made me miss Cali!

And, of course, no vacation diary of South Beach Miami would be complete without a passing mention of the beach itself. South Beach is extremely cosmopolitan, liberal, and open. Gay couples walk together freely and affectionately, and the beach is known for allowing topless sunbathing. We spent one morning out near the surf and observed a few of these bathing beauties. Tom tried to “discreetly” take a few pictures and cursed the slow shutter speed of his digital camera which caused him to miss every "perfect" shot.

We had a great time! Now on to California to meet my new granddaughter, Charlotte, as she makes her entrance into the world.

Hanging Out With the Wash

2006-06-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

Washing clothing is something that everyone deals with. Most of us wash our own but there are those who “send it out” or have household help to do it for them. Until I moved out of my childhood home at age twenty I don’t remember being responsible for doing my own laundry. Earlier this summer as my small contribution to the energy crunch and to save a little money, I began hanging laundry on our backyard clothesline. As I set each item in the sun to dry I am taken back to my childhood and to thinking about “washing clothes”.

My mother’s favorite domestic chore is washing the clothing of her family. In one of my earliest memories she is standing at the wringer washing machine that she loved, feeding the soapy clothes through the tight wringer at the top and into a fresh tub of clean water. After she had allowed them to rinse for a time she would run them back through the ringer, place them in her laundry basket and head outside to the clothesline. The rental home we lived in at that time (the mid 1950’s) had a “high tech” clothesline. Instead of walking along the line to hang the clothes while kicking the basket and sliding the clothespin bag along the line as was the usual way, this house had a wooden platform she stood on to reach the lines which were connected to pulleys. As she stood on that platform reaching up to the line, she would lovingly shake out each item, pin it to the line, slide the line away a bit, hang the next item, and before I knew it the line was full. The first item was way down at the end and my mother had stood in the same place the entire time. To a five year old this was an amazing thing to watch! Mom didn’t hang the clothes haphazardly but sorted as she hung – towels together, wash rags, t-shirts, jeans, socks, sheets, etc. All like items were hung together and by the time she finished the laundry was like a work of art splashing against the background of the sky. I realize now that this was also practical – it made taking things down from the line and folding them much quicker and easier.

Bleach was my mom’s favorite laundry additive. She used it on all of our white clothes; on our towels, no matter what their color; and on the sheets, which were always white in those days. With all that bleach, and then hanging in the hot San Jose, California sun for most of the day, our clothes were bright bright bright! Another product she used often was called "bluing". It came in a small round glass bottle with a cork top (if my memory serves), and it was also used to keep clothes bright. It is a whitener that is still available today and is actually much more environmentally friendly than most other laundry products. Mrs. Stewart’s Bluing or MSB was a favorite. Mom moved on to automatic washer and dryers when I was about ten years old. She still hangs her clothes on a round line out on the patio every once in awhile, and adds bleach to just about everything, but I haven’t seen a bottle of “bluing” for a long long time.

My grandmother also had a wringer washer and hung her clothes on the line. A vague early memory is the family story of my mom’s arm getting caught in the wringer when she was a child. My grandmother had a wooden clothes hamper in her bathroom that my grandfather had made. It was counter high, about four feet long and two feet deep. Half of this chest held three deep drawers for towels; the other half had a tilt out clothes hamper where the dirty clothes were gathered. I had hoped to inherit that hamper from my grandmother but my uncle, who was only seven when his father died, had also wanted it, and I’m glad that he has this item which was handmade by his father.

While sorting, washing, and drying the clothes were always done by my mother, folding was another matter. As the oldest child, that job often came to me. I still fold most of my clothes in the same way my mom taught me. T-shirts into quarters, mated socks rolled into balls, towels stacked with the fold out, diapers folded to fit the current size of the baby, and I’m sure many other rules that I do so automatically I don’t even realize it. When my wheelchair bound grandmother moved in with my parents she always wanted to help around the house. Folding clothes was something she could do easily. The dry clothes were easy for her to retrieve from the dryer and roll into the dining room table where she would fold them and make a stack for each member of the family. I realize now in thinking about the way in which she did this, that, just as I learned most of my laundry skills from my mother; my mother, in turn, learned them from her mother.

My daughters have learned about laundry from me as well. But their responsibility for their own clothes began at a much earlier age than mine did. Up until they were about nine or ten their sole responsibility when it came to their laundry was to put away the clothes I had washed, dried and folded. One day after I had carefully completed these tasks I asked them to put their clothes away before dinner. They complied but the next day when I entered their rooms I found that the clothes had been carelessly stuffed into their drawers with half of them hanging out and most becoming wrinkled and unfolded. When they got home from school that day their relationship with laundry began in earnest. I told them I was no longer washing their clothes. I showed them how to sort, how to use the washer and dryer, and how to fold. I also told them that Saturday was their laundry day and they would not be allowed to go outside and play with their friends until this chore was complete. They learned that cooperation would get them outside much more quickly and began to do it together combining their whites and coloreds, and helping each other fold. My own mother was appalled at this development but I think my daughters were much more prepared to be on their own in college and in life because they had developed this skill. They knew at an early age, unlike most of their friends, that “clean clothes” were something that required effort and did not just magically appear in your drawers a few days after you had placed them in the hamper.

And so, as I carefully hang my clothes on the line in this hot Alabama sun, sorting by item and type, smelling the detergent and bleach, I think of my mother and grandmother. I think of how I do this by choice, out of frugality and nostalgia, and how they did it out of necessity. I think of those rainy days when their babies must have needed dry diapers and the towel drawers were empty. I think of how they improvised by using an inside drying rack and hanging things near the furnace, and I appreciate much more their dedication to making sure their families had clean clothes. I also think of my daughters who learned about laundry at an early age but will never know how much effort it required in the past. Then I remember the old glass washboard that decorates my laundry room. When my father gave it to me he said it had belonged to my great grandmother, and I realize suddenly that I too have no clue of how difficult washing clothes really was so long ago.

Blessed and A Blessing

2006-05-28T20:03:00.000-07:00

Tom and I got up this morning and, in our usual Sunday morning routine, prepared to head to church. As we were driving toward our church for Sunday school (a bit earlier than usual) I asked if this wasn’t the Sunday that he had wanted to, perhaps, visit his grandparent’s church? He was reminded that it was, and since we were early enough to make it in time, we began the hour drive toward Avondale Presbyterian Church in the neighborhood of the same name. We had driven past this church a few months ago during one of our treks to Birmingham. Built in 1958, it was a small unassuming structure set back from the road down a short gravel driveway. From the outside we could see that the building, though small by today’s “mega church” standards, was large enough to house the sanctuary and several Sunday school classrooms, as well as a kitchen and fellowship hall. Certainly large enough to serve the Presbyterians in the Avondale area.

On our drive over I mentioned that there would probably be folks in the congregation who would remember his grandparents. He doubted this since his grandfather died in 1968 at the age of 88. But his grandparents, George and Maggie Hood, had raised their four children in this church and I just knew that someone would remember this faithful family.

The service was to begin at 10:30. We arrived about 15 minutes prior to that and were greeted by the only person in the sanctuary at that time, an older man who welcomed us warmly and asked if we were new to the neighborhood. Tom explained that we lived in Anniston but had decided on this Memorial Day weekend to remember his grandparents by attending their church. As soon as he mentioned his grandfather’s name, this gentleman said, “Oh yes, I remember him, he worked for the Southern Railroad – passenger trains.” A few minutes later the pastor entered and greeted us. We learned over the next few minutes that Avondale is what is often referred to as a “dying” congregation. The pastor is a “commissioned lay pastor”, a category of clergy that fills the needs of congregations which cannot afford a full-time minister. He has been with this church for four years – a liberal New York yankee, as he described himself, and “after all this time we’ve almost got him straightened out” was how this grinning parishioner added to that description. As the service was about to begin the pastor asked Tom if he would mind introducing himself during the service and explaining his connection to the church.

As Tom stood during the welcoming time and talked of his grandparents and their children, folks smiled and heads began to nod. The sermon touched on family, welcoming strangers, the immigration debate currently affecting our nation, and how we are ultimately all in the same family of the Living God. It was meaningful and well-delivered and, unfortunately, heard by less than 15 pairs of ears, including ours (which were at least 15 to 20 years younger than all of the others). We were blessed by the message, and to be in this place, and, perhaps, to have sat in the same pew, where Tom’s grandparents may have sat and worshipped so long ago.

After the service each person came by to greet us. Many folks wanted to let Tom know that they did, indeed, remember his grandfather and grandmother – “George and Maggie.” They showed him the small plaque on the baptismal font – given in memory of his grandfather. They asked about his mother, and especially his Aunt Betty, who was the youngest of the Hood children, and the one they remembered most easily. They recalled times when they, along with the Hood siblings, were the children of this church and the fun they all had together. They gave us a copy of their church history commemorating its centennial in 1990. They talked of how they had just 21 members on the rolls right now. Many of those are shut-ins, and the church’s main mission at this point is to minister to their own.

I realized as we left the sanctuary and began the drive home, that, yes, we had been blessed by the service this morning, but we had, in turn, also been a blessing to those in attendance. Our visit reminded them all of an earlier time in the life of their church and in their own lives; a time when the church was active and robust, full of activities and families, and when they were younger and raising their children in the shelter of this place.

As we drove off through the Avondale neighborhood full of homes built over the past century, I was saddened that this church was not filled with families. This small church is within walking distance of most of the homes in this area. I’m sure it could meet the needs of many of them. But times have changed; with easy access to automobiles we are no longer in need of neighborhood groceries or cafes or churches. The suburbs with their sprawling malls and their large “programs-for-everyone” churches beckon to those who still live in the city. But I bet if their grandchildren go back to visit in one of these mega-churches 40 or 50 years from now, no one will remember who their grandparents were, much less which pew they had sat in to worship.

The Geometry of Life

2006-05-23T15:13:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed how we often use geometrical terms to describe our lives or how our lives intersect (see!) with others? I have been thinking about this lately and thought it might be interesting to look at it a little further.

There is a certain symmetry between my life and the lives of both of my daughters. Erin and I both married military men just five months before our 21st birthdays and took off to travel far from our homes. We both gave birth to our first child (girls) about five years later and became stay-at-home moms. Both of my daughters were military kids who lived all over the world for the first 12 years of their lives before we finally settled in Alabama. Somehow, Meghan’s life also fell in step with mine when she made the decision after college to move to California. At 21 years old she returned to live and work in the same California county I had left nearly a quarter century earlier. She first lived with her grandparents in the same home I had moved from so long ago. Where Erin is living parts of the life I actually had, Meghan is probably living the life I would have lived had I not left California.

Erin and her best friend, Samantha, seem to be living parallel lives. Not in the sense that their lives don’t intersect because they certainly do, but because they are so similar. They are both Early Childhood Educators, married to Air Force Officers who teach at the Air Force Academy, live blocks from each other, and gave birth to their first children (daughters) in October of last year. They met through their husbands about five years ago and began to see the similarities in their lives right off. Joyce and I also saw lots of parallels in our lives when we first met so many years ago – we had the same birthday, we were California women married to southern men, we loved to shop in thrift stores, our children were the same ages.

Some people’s lives seem to be a circle. They start out in one place (geographical or otherwise), move far from that place, and often end up right back where they started. My friend, Judy, has lived such a life. Living in rural Alabama during the “Jim Crow” south, her mother wanted more for her only child and sent her to a boarding high school in North Carolina. From there Judy went to college in California and moved into the corporate world in New York where she became a prize-winning writer, magazine editor, and radio talk show host. She lived her adult life in the “Big Apple” but as she was about to turn 50 she found herself back in Alabama becoming her mother’s caretaker. Just as her mother loved her enough to send her out of the life she would have lived if she had stayed in Alabama, Judy loved her mother enough to return to that life when her mother needed her the most. Her mother died a few years ago but Judy has remained and made a life for herself here in Alabama. A life in the same place she had left so long ago but far different than what it would have been had she not made the big circle away and then back again.

My sister, both of my daughters and I form what we call our “Circle of Trust”. If one of us knows something, then the others will soon know as well. When I told my daughters about my melanoma and my sister found out from one of them rather than from me, I got an immediate call… what’s going on? how are you doing?... If one of us gets good news, it’s good news for all of us, and any concern for one of us is a concern for all of us.

Triangles are a pretty obvious and well-used geometric analogy, usually in a negative way. We hear about, see, and live “love triangles” in abundance. But triangles can be seen in other relationships as well. If my children had just one friend come over to visit when they were young things just seemed to be out of balance – somebody was always being left out and feelings were hurt.

And sometimes the same point on the line of life can lead people in different directions. In the fall of 1973 at the party my family gave to celebrate my upcoming marriage and moving away, my Uncle Jerry pulled me aside to tell me that no one knew yet but he was about to end his marriage.

Many things about the “geometry of life” might be chalked up by some to be mere coincidence but if I remember my geometry book correctly I think that it means something geometrical when things “coincide”…..

"Lost In (a parking) Space" Junkies

2006-05-17T19:46:00.000-07:00

My husband Tom and I are hooked on the television show "Lost". Not to the point that we try and figure out every clue that is given, and go to websites to see what others have figured out, but we like to watch it week by week just to see what is happening. When we aren't together on Wednesday nights we tape it and watch it later when we are together. For two weeks worth of Wednesdays I was in Colorado visiting EBS (Erin Brent Sarah) and he was "working" in Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. He had set up the VCR to tape the two weeks we would be gone. Last Saturday night we were finally back together, settled into our awesome recliners and ready to watch the tape. First week was fine, but the second week didn't tape at all -- apparently Anniston had some thunder storms, the house lost power and we lost "Lost".

We decided to go on-line and see if ABC would offer any hints about what had happened. To our amazement they did better than we ever imagined -- we could watch any past episode we wanted on the internet! Hurray! Well.... hurray if you have DSL... with a dial-up modem it could not be done! Not to be outdone by the lack of technology I get the bright idea to head over to "hotel row" in neighboring Oxford and try to hook into any hotel offering free wireless internet on Tom's laptop computer. Sounds good to him, so off we go! We are looking forward to watching our show in the car just like in a "drive-in".

We first tried Jameson, the connection was "good" but not good enough to allow us to view past the first few lines of the first scene. Not to be thwarted we drive on to the Holiday Inn Express, again it's "good"... Hampton, Wingate, and back to Jameson. By parking right next to the office in the Jameson parking lot we were able to get a connection that was "excellent" but STILL the stupid computer would not let us get past the first scene. After driving from parking lot to parking lot for about an hour (and actually NOT having the Oxford Police called on us) we gave up!!! Went to Cracker Barrel to drown our sorrows in apple pie and blackberry sundae, and ended up at home reading the script on another internet site.

I have to apologize to my sister who called my cell phone asking for parenting advice in the midst of our trying to make our connection. I was much more interested in getting my "Lost" fix than talking to anyone (even if your kid is having trouble in school -- hey we're talking "Lost" here!) Sorry, Lori! I know I have a problem, and I'm trying to deal with it. I promise to comment on every entry on your Blog (www.grimes4.blogspot.com ) if you will forgive me.

An Offer on the House

2006-05-15T16:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had an offer on the house. Tom just called them back and told them we would take it. It is only a bit less than our asking price but that is what we expected when we put it up for sale. It is contingent on the buyers selling their house in Florida but they certainly seem to want our house. They asked us not to put it on "For Sale By Owner.com" and said they would be putting all of the money in our hand when they sell their house. Another interesting thing about these buyers, apparently they talked with someone in Florida who had some sort of "vision"... this person told them that the house they found in Alabama would have columns in the front (check!), some sort of water in the back (pool, check!), a building in the back for a garden shed (check!), and a red kitchen (check!).... There are probably lots of houses in Anniston that would have those things but ours is the one they saw and they want!

So now I'm moving my focus from getting the house ready to sell to getting things packed up. I spent the first twenty years of my adulthood moving from dwelling to dwelling and trying hard to make each one a home. I know I'm up to the task! But in each one of my previous moves it was all done by professionals hired by the military. Sure, I had to get everything ready for the move but the actually packing and hauling was done by others. This time Tom and I are going to try to save some money and pack everything ourselves and then have the professionals move it all. I just suggested to him that maybe each time he works in Nashville and drives up from here for the week he should fill the car with the boxes we've packed and put them in a storage space up there. He thought it was a good idea so I guess next week we officially start moving up to Nashville. I'm looking forward to this new adventure!

On another note, I wish anybody "lurking" out there in the blogosphere would leave a comment. I would love to reconnect with family and friends and new friends who might be reading Turtle's Progress . I know that since Margaret read my blog at Uncle Chuck's memorial there might be some family that are reading it. Let me know. I hate that I couldn't be at the memorial to see family there but I'd like to be back in touch and the internet makes it pretty easy. All you have to do is click on the "comments" link (it says 2 comments, or 3 comments, etc), type what you want to say, sign it, click annonymous user if you don't have a blog of your own or don't want to create an account, and publish it! Love to hear from you!

The Toddler Tapes

2006-05-12T07:25:00.000-07:00

This has been a high-tech Mother’s Day. While in Colorado, Erin and I put together a DVD collage of pictures set to music. The pictures were of my mother, Dixie; my sister, Lori; my daughters, Meghan and Erin; my granddaughters; Sarah and Charlotte (still inside her mommy’s tummy) and me. They were taken over the past 25 years, and included one shot of my maternal grandmother who died in 1989. The music we chose was Lucy Kaplansky’s, The Red Thread. The liner notes read, “There is an ancient belief in China that when a child is born, invisible red threads reach out from the child’s spirit to all the important people who will be part of the child’s life. The threads may tangle but they will never break.” Our favorite line in Lucy’s song is “I’m the girl who learned to love from watching you.” We are definitely “red threads” to each other so Erin burned us all a copy.

In addition to this, Erin and Brent also made a DVD of short video clips of Sarah’s first six months as a Mother’s Day gift for me and Brent’s mom. Their digital camera can record about a minute at a time so this DVD includes many milestones of her life thus far. I treasure it now but know it will mean even more to me in the future.

All this searching through old pictures, watching as my granddaughter grows and develops, and using the latest technology to chronicle it all has made me a bit nostalgic. I’ve let my mind and memories wander back to the time when my own children were young, and I’m reminded that I also used the latest technology available back then.

We were living in the suburbs of Athens, Greece in the early eighties. Meghan was twenty-one months and Erin three months when we arrived to begin our nearly three-year stay. We resided in a fairly modern Greek apartment building with four other American military families. The girls thrived despite (or probably because of) the lack of television during this time. They loved “reading” children’s books-on-tape which they would listen to while looking at the pictures in the books. As they got older, their bedtime ritual included listening to the taped stories in the dark as they fell asleep. Not unlike my parent’s generation which, as children, had listened to their favorite shows on the radio in the evenings.

The tape player on which they listened to their stories came to serve another purpose as my daughters became more verbal. Because the installation and monthly cost of a telephone in Greece was prohibitive, we didn’t even try to fit this outrageous expense into our budget. As a result, my husband and I went for nearly three years without having a conversation with any members of our family in America. But we filled the gap and strengthened our daughters’ red threads as best we could. In addition to writing many letters, we began exchanging cassette tapes with our mothers. This gave “Grama” and “Granny” the opportunity to hear the girls as they played together and learned to talk, and gave us the ability to actually “hear” what was going on in our parents’ homes. I looked forward anxiously to getting those tapes in the mail. There was often a long chat from my own wheel-chair bound grandmother. She lived with my parents at the time and arthritis had left her unable to hold a pencil long enough to write a letter, but she loved to talk to us on the tapes. Oh, how I wish I still had just one of those tapes holding my grandmother’s voice. But, when we returned to the states we had a telephone (in nearly every room), and having served their purpose, the tapes were all gone. Or so I thought….

A few years ago my mother handed me a small plastic bag and said, “I’ve been cleaning out drawers and closets and thought you might want these…” Inside there were about ten of these tapes. They were pretty beat-up; having been recorded over many times and sent back and forth between Athens and California. But what a treasure! As I listen to these tapes I’m carried back to my early adulthood. I hear my children learning to talk. Meghan tells the story of “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” and Erin recites her favorite nursery rhymes. They sing songs together. Their voices are small and questioning, they call me “mama”. One tape was recorded as they came into the living room on Christmas morning; I listen intently to their joy at what Santa has delivered. The rooms of that apartment come into my view; the arrangement of the furniture, the toys they played with, the color of the bedspread, the stove where I cooked our meals, the smells from the nearby kebab stand. I don’t need the picture albums from those years, I remember it all. The voices of my daughters, as well as my own, and the background noises on these tapes take me there. In my own 27 year old voice I hear my daughters now. As I speak to them on the tapes, I also hear Erin speaking to Sarah and Meghan speaking to Charlotte; the cadence, the tone, and the inflection are the same. Another line from Lucy’s song comes to mind, “They say the red thread that ties me to you, ties her to me.” And so it goes….

Though I cherish my pictures and the few video tapes I have of the events of my life, none of it gets into my soul as these audio tapes do. Just as my daughters imagined the stories when they listened to their books-on-tape, and my parents visualized what was happening as they listened to their favorite radio shows; I also see the details of my life as a young mother unfold when I listen to those tapes. I remember once reading a quote from Helen Keller. She indicated that if she could choose, she would want the ability to hear returned to her over the ability to see. This surprised many people until she went on to explain that while the loss of sight separates us from things; the loss of hearing separates us from people. When I think about listening to my children’s “Toddler Tapes” (as I’ve come to call them), I understand exactly what she means. I feel the red threads connecting me with my daughters and my mother, with my granddaughters and my grandmother, much more strongly when I hear the voices on these tapes than I ever have while looking at the pictures in my many albums.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2006-05-09T06:26:00.000-07:00

As much as I have enjoyed the past two weeks with the Cobb family, tomorrow I will head east and back to my life. I know that anyone reading this who has ever had to leave a grandchild will know exactly how hard this is going to be. Sarah has gotten to know me and responds to my voice and presence as soon as I walk into the room (maybe she will miss me a little too?) I can't seem to get enough of her. Even if all I'm doing is watching her from across the room, or listening to her speak her own private language on the baby monitor. And watching Erin and Brent with her has been a delight. Brent comes home from work and her face beams at the first ssound of his voice. Erin talks to me from another room while I give Sarah her bottle and Sarah stops and turns her head to listen and wait for her mama to enter. This little family is in love and it has been wonderful to share in that love for the past 12 days.

Tomorrow it is back to reality. By Friday I will be back home. The "For Sale" sign will be back in the yard and I will need to start packing up the house for the big move. I'm excited about the prospect of getting all of that underway, but have enjoyed this two week interlude of playing with "my" baby!

The Drama Person

2006-05-05T06:45:00.000-07:00

Today is my dear nephew Jared's 27th birthday. He was born in 1979 six months after my daughter, Meghan, and a year before my daughter, Erin. During their childhood these three cousins had a love-hate relationship. The first time they all spent any time together Meghan was 19 months, Jared 13 months, and Erin a newborn. He and Meghan played some but Jared was not a happy camper -- he wanted his mama and I was not her. He let me know that right away. Through the years until they were in their early teens these three saw each other on a semi-regular basis when we would visit from our Navy assignments in various parts of the world. They would be slow to warm-up to each other but would eventually enjoy playing together, creating memories they would laugh about in the future.

In 1991 when my family left the Navy and settled in Anniston, Alabama, we lived only an hour's drive from Jared and his family. The cousins became fast friends and longed to spend as much time as possible with each other. To accomodate and encourage this family tie, Jared's mother and I would often meet at the halfway point between our homes to drop-off or pick-up the cousins. They would spend weekends writing plays to be put on by the CAB (Cowan and Bowen) Theater, planning murder mystery dress-up parties, taking long walks together, or just hanging together. They became almost like siblings. I can remember one particular visit when Jared got mad at Meghan and Erin and called his mom and dad for an early pick-up. Before his parents could get to our home to rescue their son, they had all made up and wanted to stay longer!

I enjoyed having Jared in our home for these visits. My girls loved having him around and his abundance of creativity encouraged their own. They were always drawing or writing or singing... always having a good time together. Jared's uncle and I often talked about how we thought that Jared would need this bond with our daughters and the knowledge that he was always welcome in our home more in the future than he seemed to then.

Eventually the cousins learned to drive and the first long Interstate trip for each of them was for visits together. As they each graduated from high school and went off to Auburn, their bond grew stronger. At the end of the 2000 academic year, I found myself sitting on my back porch with Meghan and Jared. The conversation flowed with talk of Auburn, Meg's recent graduation, the upcoming party to celebrate that event and Erin's engagement. Eventually Meghan said, "Just tell her, it's not a big deal." I looked at them both, curious, wondering. Finally Jared begins, "There's this guy I like...." He very emphatically, and with much drama began telling me about this person. Here it was, what I had been expecting for years, what I thought to be true before he knew himself. He was trusting me enough to share his deepest secret, and there I was liberal, accepting, and non-judgemental Aunt Terry, listening and watching, and all I can think to say is, "Jared, you are such a drama (no! don't say it!)....person!"

Fortunately for me, Jared also has a great sense of humor! With the cousins now being adults my relationship with each of them has changed. Jared and I have become friends. I look forward to his visits on my porch, catching up with his life, sharing my own, reading his poetry, and journaling together. Because of him, and with him, I began attending PFLAG (Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meetings and was glad to make new friends who shared my views on many topics. Jared went with me to my first Mary Chapin Carpenter concert, and on my first birthday after removing my wedding ring for good, it was Jared who knew I would need something to replace it, and gave me the beautiful aquamarine birth stone ring I'd been longing for. And we have had many a laugh remembering how he came out to me and what I almost said to him!!

Happy Birthday, Jared! I love you.

Sarah aka Princess Pigbear

2006-04-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

Friday night I arrived in Colorado for a two week visit with Erin, Brent and Sarah. This is the third time since her birth that I have seen Sarah, and she burrows her way deeper into my heart each time. I watched in October as she worked her way into the world and as I observed Erin and Brent learning their way with her, I was swept back to the time when my own daughters were newborns. I remembered so little. Infants grow and learn and develop so quickly that it is hard to remember how they were at each stage in their lives.

From October to December she had grown, and was just starting to smile a bit. Her personality was starting to show through. When I arrived in February she was smiling all the time and just learning to hold on to a toy. Now, two and a half months later, she is rolling all over, sitting by herself, and grabbing toys offered to her. She recognizes her name and LOVES people. Anyone who gives her any small amount of attention will be greeted with a huge baby smile and sparkling eyes.

My daughter asks me often what she and her sister were like as babies. Did they have personalities like Sarah's. What were their schedules like? I can remember generally what life was like with a baby in the house, but the day-to-day things that I watch Erin deal with, I just don't remember. I have "baby books" that capture the milestones of first teeth coming through, their first words, first foods, etc. But it pains me to say that I'm not able to recall the specifics that I see Erin, Brent and Sarah living as they become a strong family unit.

I wish I had been a "journaler" back then. Maybe reading my own words about new motherhood and my babies changing and developing would bring those memories back to the surface. I wrote lots of letters during that time but, unfortunately, didn't have a "packrat" Aunt Betty who saved them all so I can't even read those to help me remember. I do know that motherhood has brought me great joy, and having adult children who are now having children of their own gives me a chance to be carried back to the times when my own were young.

DWS (Divorced Woman Syndrome)

2006-04-24T18:32:00.000-07:00

My youngest daughter, Erin, first used the term "Divorced Woman Syndrome" or DWS when I began to come out of the shock brought about by my separation and divorce from her father. Just as we often see and hear about women who blossom in their widowhood, I seemed to do that after my divorce. Within months of signing the final papers, I was also an empty-nester. Erin was off to Auburn University where Meghan was in her second year, and I had the entire house to myself. I went to work everyday and became more interested and vested in my job. I began to make the house “mine” instead of “ours”, and to appreciate the amazing women who helped me get through this tough time in my life. My appearance changed for the better – glasses gave way to contacts, gray hair became “spiced tea” (according to the Natural Instincts box), weight came off without stringent dieting, and I began to like myself more than I ever had in the past.

My first big act of independence and trust in myself was driving nearly 2,500 miles cross country. My parents were selling their 1988 Honda Prelude. I needed a car and knew it would suit my needs perfectly. My sister agreed to drive from California back to Alabama with me. The plan was to swap-off driving – about one hour into Lori’s first shift she said “no way”. Interstate driving was putting her to sleep so I became the designated driver. We made our way to southern California, caught I-10 across Arizona and New Mexico, and picked-up I-20 just south of El Paso for the long haul across Texas. At the east side of Texas we stopped to see a dear friend (one of the amazing, mentioned above) who had recently moved there from Alabama. Two days later we began the last stretch across Louisiana, Mississippi, and into “Sweet Home”. Having been forewarned, I was careful to follow the speed limits in Louisiana. It was there I learned to “do as the long-haul truckers do”. The truckers stayed within reasonable speeds of the limits in Louisiana and Mississippi, but in Alabama they cut lose. Obviously knowing there was a shortage of state troopers at that time. My sister finally woke-up from her four day nap about the time we reached the Anniston city limits!

Over the next few years my social circle and activities expanded. A group of single women from work and I began going to plays together. I saw my first Broadway production, “Fiddler on the Roof”, and many good quality shows put on by our local community theater. A group of six or eight of us went to Birmingham to see Wynonna Judd and Michael Bolton together in concert. At other concerts, Huey Lewis rocked our world with a long harmonica solo, Aerosmith nearly rendered us deaf, Elton John played all of our old favorites, and Rod Stewart’s energy seemed to be endless. I went to student art and music shows at our local university, and “Business After Hours” sponsored monthly by the Chamber of Commerce. A good friend taught me the rudimentary skills of sailing during trips out on his boat. I started a book group which met monthly. Many trips were made to Auburn to visit my daughters.

My former husband’s sisters and I have continued to be close, and during this time they could not have been more supportive. We continued our newly established tradition of having a “Sister’s Weekend” during the month of each of our birthdays. Sometimes we took trips – a fun time in Helen, Georgia comes to mind with stops at the Cabbage Patch Doll Hospital, but most times we just met at my house and played. Went out to eat, talked, “Sweated” to Richard Simmons’ “Oldies”, talked, dyed our hair, talked, laid out by the pool, talked…. They may be my former sisters-in-law but they will NEVER be “former” family.

I discovered politics. For months I could be found every Wednesday afternoon on the corner of 11th Street and Quintard Avenue, across from the post office, holding my sign protesting the looming war on Iraq. A new group of like-minded friends emerged from these encounters. Despite our attempts to be “low key” with signs like “Support Our Troops, Pray for Peace” and “Let There Be Peace On Earth”, we still elicited hostile hand gestures and remarks from those driving by or stopping for the red light. My protest letters to the editor were published, and our pictures were often on the front pages of our local newspaper.

I believe that most women are social creatures and when our main social relationship is lost through divorce or death, we will eventually rise up and create new ones. Had I still been married I would not have experienced most of the things I’ve noted here. Not necessarily because my former husband would have stifled any attempts to do those things – I just would not have felt the need to do any of them. And what Joy I would have missed!

Oh, I also had a few dates, a couple of short-term relationships, met my current husband and threw myself a 50th birthday party – that will have to be another story!

Here I am pre-DWS in 1993, and post-DWS in 1998. What a difference 5 years can make! This one's for you Lori -- you said you wanted a good laugh!

....To Grandmother's House We Go (part two)

2006-04-22T09:03:00.000-07:00

My Grama D was my “city grama.” Until she moved in with my parents during the last years of her life, she lived in the neighborhoods surrounding the downtown area of my small hometown. Where going to my Grama Keith’s house was nearly always a social occasion with lots of extended family around, going to Grama D’s was usually a personal visit. I spent lots of time with just my grandmother in her home. “Spending the night with grama” was something I wanted to do at least one night of every weekend. During that time I usually had her undivided attention.

In one sitting she would make entire outfits of clothing for my dolls (oh how I wish I still had some of those). She always made special cinnamon toast (baked in the oven) and coffee for breakfast. I sat on the arm of her rocking chair and we would sing songs – her favorite was “I Dropped Dollie in the Dirt”. I can still hear her singing it. For my fifth Christmas, she and my grandfather, who died the next year, gave my brother and me child-sized maple rocking chairs. Mine still sits in my family room. I have actually passed it on to Meghan, and will get it to her soon so that our little Charlotte (due July 5th!) can have it for her room.

My Grama Keith never worked outside of the home that I know of, but my Grama D always did. Her husband died when she was in her mid-fifties and still had three young children to raise. To support them all she worked in the produce packing sheds that were plentiful in our little agricultural valley of the central coast of California. Her hands were gnarled with arthritis but she continued to stuff celery tightly into plastic bags. Even though I know that is probably done by machine now, every time I fight to open a bag of tightly packed celery, I think of how hard my Grama D worked for her family.

As I got older, my activities at her house changed. She was within walking distance of the downtown area and I was able to head to Main Street and wander through the stores alone. I often had lunch at the Woolworth’s (ham salad sandwich with chips, please), listened to records in the music shop next door, or walked slowly through the town square, past the bandstand and into the library; eventually carrying home a stack of books. I once remember bringing back a book of Khalil Gibran poetry and reading some of it to my grandmother. She listened intently and discussed its meaning with me.

Some additional random Grama D memories. The first word I remember learning to spell was her last name – Degraffenreid – 13 letters long! She taught me to play jacks and always beat me despite the arthritis in her hands. She loved to watch us skate – most Friday nights of my childhood were spent at the local skating rink traveling round and round, learning new tricks and showing them off to my grandmother’s delight. She loved to watch “Lawrence Welk” and “The Andy Williams Show” (oh those Osmond Brothers!). She hated me to wear black. It continues to be one of my favorite clothing colors and I wear it often, but when I do, I can still hear a little voice in the back of my mind chastising me.

The memories I have of both of my grandmothers are many and still very clear. Growing up in the same town with them was a joy and something I wish my own daughters had been able to experience with their grandmothers. I asked them recently what childhood memories they have of their grandmothers – playing “office” in the upstairs attic room of granny’s house, and riding “Big Wheels” up and down the driveway of their grama’s house, is what they told me. I’m sure they have many more. But unfortunately for them, those memories don’t include weekly visits with those who love them in the unconditional and accepting way that only a grandparent can.

I’m a grama myself now and I doubt that (beyond these first two years with Brody) I will ever live in the same town with my grandchildren. Our society is so mobile today that books have been written about grandparenting from afar. I received one for Christmas entitled Long Distance Grandma. I will work hard at having a loving, close and connected relationship with my grandchildren. I will visit often, call, write, email, and send packages. But I know deep in my heart that none of those things can possibly replace growing up with your grama right down the road teaching you how to brush your hair or play jacks on the sidewalk.

....To Grandmother's House We Go (part one)

2006-04-19T10:53:00.000-07:00

Throughout my childhood both of my grandmothers were still alive, and except for the two or three years when my family moved closer to where my dad worked, I lived in the same small California town where they lived. That was the norm back then. Most of my friend’s grandparents lived close by also. I never really appreciated or thought much about being in such close proximity to my grandmothers until I became a mother myself. Except for the four years the Navy stationed my family within 30 miles of my hometown, my daughters have always lived far from their grandparents and other extended family. They never had those spur-of-the-moment chances to “spend the night with grama” that I had growing up. And now my grandchildren, who live far from me, will also grow without that possibility.

My grandmothers were very different, though as a child, I thought they looked alike. Typical grama looks – overweight, stooped a little, with gray hair. Both wore glasses and had arthritis that worsened as I grew older. They knew each other and were friends but not close. For a time they had raised their children on the same street. They had a total of 11 children between them – all of different ages. My mom and dad were the proverbial “girl (boy) next door”. My sister, brothers and I became the main things that my grandmothers really had in common. They were our Grama D (maternal), and our Grama Keith (fraternal) and other than loving me and my siblings, as only grandparents can, they were very different.

Looking back I have realized that Grama Keith was my country grama (though I never thought of her in that way at the time). She and my grandfather lived in a small house on a “berry ranch” where he was a “hired hand” and did many of the chores around the place. Going there was a chance to spend lots of time outdoors. I remember climbing the BIG tree in their backyard, playing with grampa’s dog, Teddy, hiding in the barn, climbing the steep steps on the front porch that no one ever used, and smelling the honeysuckle. To this day the early spring smell of honeysuckle always takes me back to that front porch and my Grama Keith.

Being there was usually a social occasion. Often some of my many cousins would be there and we would have fun playing together. At dinner time with lots of cousins around there were never enough chairs at the table. We would end up sitting on grama’s old hope chest which held a treasure of her memories including her children and grandchildren’s school papers, pictures we had colored for her, and cards sent for special occasions. It was pulled up to the table as a bench. That hope chest now sits in my living room and is one of my favorite pieces of furniture. The crack in the lid caused by our sitting on it so long ago has been repaired, the wood sanded and refinished, but the memories are intact. My grandmother told me that it was tradition for a hope chest to be passed on to the first granddaughter – lucky me!

All socializing (not just eating) at my Grama Keith’s house was done at the dining room table. This is where she and grampa spent their time. The television there, and the wood-burning cook stove could easily keep this room and the kitchen warm. The rest of the house was closed off. Grama always had her “stuff” around her. Books, magazines, crossword puzzles, mail – all stacked on the table close to where she sat. I’ve inherited a bit of that trait as I store my similar “stuff” in a basket that I can easily carry into whichever room where I plan to spend time. I like it to be close to me just as Grama seemed to. The furniture in the entire house was stark and old, some was second hand. But I remember well the NEW brown upholstered furniture that suddenly appeared in the living room. I think it was my Uncle Jerry who purchased it for them (probably with wages from his first job). Despite the new furniture, the adult socializing continued to be at the dining room table. This was where Grama and Grampa seemed to be most comfortable.

But sometimes the grandkids got to spend time in the living room (only when weather or darkness kept us inside, of course)! In addition to the new furniture, I clearly remember a heavy library table, peddle foot sewing machine (grama tried to teach me how to use it but I never mastered pumping the pedal like she could) and a small bookcase holding a set of encyclopedias (as a child I thought this book shelf was so unusual because the shelves slanted up to more easily see the books). The one children’s book I remember was a well-worn Richard Scary that was falling apart and whose pictures we all enjoyed.

Some additional random Grama Keith memories. She encouraged me to brush my hair 100 strokes before going to bed. When she did this at bedtime I was amazed at the length of her beautiful gray hair as it came down from the bun where it was hidden during the day. She had a set of primary colored Pyrex nesting bowls that she used daily. She used some sort of purple medicine on her skin for impetigo. She always had wheat bread in her home. I was raised a 1950’s “Wonder Bread” kid and thought brown bread was so unusual (but it made great toast!). And speaking of bread…. She and I made potato bread from an OLD recipe one day. She tried to teach me how to knead the dough – I was an utter failure at this task at the time, but I can do it now and I always remember her instructions when I do decide to make any sort of bread. She was not religious but “believed in” nature. After Grampa’s funeral when we all gathered at her home, she tried to distract all of her grandchildren from our sadness by having us help her bake a cake. That is my clearest memory of my grandfather’s funeral – baking a cake with Grama.

As with all families, my dad and all of his siblings have different memories – both good and bad – of their mother. In the same way my memories probably differ from that of my cousins. But I think we would all agree that she was a strong woman who raised six children to the best of her ability during the Great Depression. Despite many ups and downs she stayed married to my grandfather for nearly 50 years until his death in 1974. She always lived on a limited income but until she died she always managed to send her many grandchildren and great-grandchildren a birthday card with a single dollar bill in the fold. She enjoyed writing and receiving letters and stayed in touch with many of us (including me) when we lived far from home. She loved us and we loved her in return.

(to be continued with my “City Grama”)

Here's the recipe Grama Keith and I tried to make so long ago. It is hand written and discolored, I will try to post a picture of it next week. I wouldn't recommend anyone try to make it! Grampa called our creations "bricks" instead of loaves.

Good Bread

At supper time soak 1 cake of yeast and boil 4 or 6 potatoes (according to size) in 1 qt of water. When done mash fine with water in which they were boiled, add 1 qt cold water, the soaked yeast, 1 table spoon full of salt and 2 table spoons of sugar. Set aside till next morning. In the morning the first thing put on the stove and stir constantly till lukewarm, then add flour for a stiff sponge. By the time breakfast is over and dishes washed this is ready to make stiff and knead 30 minutes. Let rise, punch down and make into loaves, let rise again and bake 1 hour. I use about six sives full of flour. Here's hoping you have luck.

My grandmother added this note when she gave me the recipe: This is a recipe that your great Aunt Maggie gave me. She was my oldest sister. Barbara's grandmother. She gave it to me when I had been married about 10 yrs.

2006-04-16T17:12:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of my mother-in-law, Mary Hood Wright, and her toddler Tommy. Taken for and sent to his father who was stationed in Korea. Circa 1957

Of Packrats, Mothers-in-law, and the Lost Art of Letter Writing

2006-04-15T07:08:00.000-07:00

My husband and I met when we were both in our 40’s. I feel fortunate to have been born when my parents were both 19, as they are still living and well, and able to know the blessing Tom has been to me. My entire family has embraced my husband and it feels like he has been part of us for far longer than the seven years we have been together.

I have also come to know Tom’s parents over the years we have been together, but not in the traditional ways. We haven’t had dinner together or visited in each others homes. We haven’t laughed together at stories from Tom’s childhood. Tom was nine years old when his father died. His mother when he was 45. They were both in their late thirties when he, their only child, was born. I met his mother once shortly after our relationship began. She was in the later stages of Alzheimer’s disease and living in a nursing home in the small South Carolina town where she raised her son to become the man I fell in love with. He introduced me to her as he rubbed her back and shoulders; her eyes seemed to move a bit behind their closed lids when he told her that he loved me. I stepped outside and watched through the window as Tom and his son, Craig, spoke to her with love about their current lives and memories of their times with her. As they spoke, they held her hands, and stroked her face, and my love for them grew.

But that’s not the Mary Hood Wright I have come to know over the years. I have never heard her speak but I know her through her own words. You see, to my good fortune, the members of Mary’s family of origin, are packrats! And probably the worst of the lot is her youngest sister, Betty. Betty and her husband Harry had no children, and lived for over 40 years in the same one bedroom 600 square foot cottage in Pasadena, California. Harry died years ago, and Betty has recently also been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She made Tom the executor of her estate years earlier, and, with the help of his Michigan cousins, she has recently been moved to a nursing home. She continues to thrive physically – dancing everyday in the recreation room, and chatting endlessly with anyone who will sit with her for dinner. When any of her nieces and nephews are in the southern California area they always stop in for a visit. She is delighted to have the company though she has no idea who they are.

Betty lived in the smallest home but was the biggest packrat of the four Hood siblings! After moving her to the nursing home, it became Tom’s task to clean the cottage of its 40 year accumulation. The piles were endless – trash, Goodwill, keep, pass on to others in the family... He spent over a week in California sorting and cleaning. Little did he know that hidden in amongst the piles of newspapers, bottles of cologne, and stacks of books, he would also find his parents, his grandparents, his cousins, and himself.

The Hoods were letter writers and Betty saved them all!! Tom has passed on to his cousins the letters that were written by their parents, and has carefully placed in sheet protectors the letters written by his own mother. They span nearly 50 years -- from the time she joined the WAACs in 1942 to the late 1980’s, shortly before the Alzheimer’s began to take its toll. Through these letters written to her sister, I have come to know my husband’s family. Often the letters were written not just to Betty, but to her entire family, with carbon paper in between pages so she could send a copy to each. Some were typed, some were handwritten, all were filled with family news.

Reading these letters is like sitting down and having a cup of coffee with my mother-in-law. I’ve heard of her love for Tom’s father, Buddie, who was also in the Army. I’ve shared her delight in her baby and toddler, “Tommy”, born when she was 38, had been married over 8 years, and had nearly given up on ever having children. I’ve learned all about 1950’s Germany where she and Buddie were stationed for a time. I joined in the search as she and Buddie looked for a farm to live and work after retiring from the military. She told me of her anguish when Buddie died in 1964, leaving her the single parent of a 9 year old son, and the trials and tribulations of raising him. We laughed at some of the antics he pulled as a child – bicycle crashes, sneaking out at night, failing grades requiring summer school. I heard the pride in her words as she told me of his college graduation. She told me how much Craig looked like her “Tommy” when he was born. The letters Betty saved made it possible for me to know my husband’s mother. I have held the same pages she touched her pen to, and the envelopes she sealed closed with a quick brush of her tongue. I feel that some of her spirit is there in those pages and I cherish them.

Now we email and Blog. There is no physical connection – my hand never touches the page where you wrote the words. We stay in touch; we know what’s going on in each other’s lives. We anxiously wait for the sound of “You’ve Got Mail”, but we don’t smell the sweet aroma of a perfumed page, or see the signature of those we love. I’ve sent and received handwritten letters my entire life. But I wish I had been more of a “packrat”. I would love to still have the letters written and lovingly signed by my grandmothers and my favorite aunt, the letters my mother sent with family news when I lived at other sides of the world, and those exchanged with friends when we were far apart. I do the best I can now – I print out and save all emails I receive but it’s not the same. Though the words are those of the people I care about, I know the paper never touched their hand.

Thank you Aunt Betty.

The House

2006-04-12T16:58:00.000-07:00

I am in the midst of trying to sell my house. This is a bitter sweet time. I have lived here for fourteen years (longer than I have lived in any structure during my lifetime) and have experienced many life-changing events while residing in this house.

My first husband and I purchased it in 1992 with plans to spend the rest of our lives here. We had recently retired from 20 years in the Navy, and our children were in middle school. We put in a pool, got to know the neighborhood, joined a church, and settled in for the long term. Something we had never been able to do as a Navy family.

By 1994 my husband had moved out and after 23 years of marriage we were on our way to divorce. I hated this house through the separation and divorce. I cursed my ex everytime I mowed the lawn or cleaned the pool – things we had planned to do together when we purchased the house. But became a burden and a chore as I did them alone. In the evenings I sat in this house and cried; mourning the loss of my marriage and the future I had thought was waiting for us here. I hated the empty spaces left by the furniture he had moved to his apartment. There was a void in the house that could not be filled no matter how hard my daughters and I tried.

My sister told me during those days that “time heals” and someday I would be able to look back and hardly remember the agony I was feeling then. She was right. And just as time healed my heart, time also slowly re-established my appreciation for my house.

My daughters and I continued to celebrate holidays, California family came for extended visits, the girls’ high school graduations were celebrated, and I slowly began to fill the empty spaces with newly purchased furniture, and newly experienced memories. The voids began to disappear.

I developed a new appreciation for my house. I grew to love the yard work, and pool maintenance. I nurtured the shrubs, pruned the trees, planted impatiens, and looked forward to mowing the grass. The girls were both off to college and the house became my refuge. I looked forward to relaxing at the end of the workday and learned to enjoy being alone. I journaled, read, watched TV, listened to music of my choice, spent time on the computer, ate when and if I wanted to, and answered to no one. The house helped me become whole again, or maybe for the first time.

In 1999, after being alone in my house for nearly five years, I was ready to move on. I met my current husband in June of that year. Our relationship developed slowly and we were married in 2003. This house has been an integral part of our relationship. Shortly after we met, and as he was leaving town for a few days, Tom brought strawberries and bagels over for a romantic early morning breakfast on the porch (a memory I cherish). He climbed the roof to do the one maintenance chore I had not tackled – clearing the gutters of accumulated pine straw. Together we enjoyed the pool, cooked out on the grill, entertained friends, and got to know each other. All in the shade of this house.

For our first Christmas he had a friend make two Adirondack chairs for the large back porch. That was the beginning of turning the porch into an additional living area. The porch has developed over the years with additional furniture, wind chimes, bird feeders, mini-lights, and a sense of peace. It has become my sanctuary, and the favorite part of the house for most people who visit us here. Most of my best memories of this house happened on the porch. Tom and I had lunch with the minister who performed our marriage ceremony. My beloved nephew told me he was gay. The church youth group I sponsored met weekly out here. I threw a party in celebration of one daughter’s college graduation and the other’s engagement. Our family and friends gathered here the night before our wedding. My loyal 13 year old dog, Tanya, died in her bed on the porch, and my new puppy, Cali, learned to climb up and down the stairs. I slept outside serenaded by the whippoorwills. My book group met to discuss our latest read. My “Little Sister” did her homework and mastered new math formulas. My grandson plays and swings.

My memories of this house are many and varied. But now I must prepare to move on. While I lived here I made this house my home. When I sell it and leave it will no longer be so. It will become the house where I used to live. The place I lived when I divorced and remarried, when my daughters were married, and when my first three grandchildren were born. It will also be the place I remember fondly, and with appreciation, where I learned to be, know and love myself.

2006-04-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture from my 2001 scrapbook. My dad and his brothers all turned out to help their sister and her husband celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.

Medical Stuff and Family

2006-04-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

Today I have been doing the prep requirements for a colonoscopy procedure tomorrow morning. Finished the last dose of the phospho-soda, which was not nearly as bad as I had expected. Tom, Jennifer and Brody had pizza from Mellow Mushroom for dinner tonight and I can’t wait to have the leftovers for lunch tomorrow. This fasting stuff is no fun at all. But after the scare I had with the melanoma in March, this is probably a good follow-up just to make sure there is no cancer growing on the insides.

After going to the doctor and having the melanoma removed, my Uncle Jerry commented in an email that he was glad I didn’t have the “stupid Keith gene” that causes some of our relatives to not seek medical treatment when necessary. He was speaking of his older brother, my Uncle Chuck, who had failed a stress test a few months ago and had strong symptoms indicating heart problems. He refused to return to the doctor until he was forced to when he had a heart attack this past Friday and ended up in the hospital. Unfortunately, it was too late, and he died this morning.

My father was very upset when I spoke with him earlier today. This is the first of his family of six siblings to die, and I know it will be hard on all of them. I remember fondly the times spent at my grandparent’s home as a child when all of my uncles and aunts would be there arguing politics or making fun of each other. The love they shared was always obvious. Though they had all been born and raised in the same small California town, all but two had moved away, and they seldom spent much time together in recent years. My daughter Meghan’s wedding in July brought four of the six together for a celebration. Now the five remaining will gather to say good-bye to their middle brother.

I remember as a youth talking with my grandfather when the first of his many siblings died. I think it was my great Uncle Gabe. Grampa was very sad and spoke philosophically of how this was the beginning of the end of his generation of Keiths. This thought is probably much on the minds of my dad, my Aunt Mert, my Uncle Chester, my Uncle Jerry, and my Uncle Butch. Their brother, Chuck, who, with them, was also one of Chester and Almeda Keith’s children is gone, and with him a part of their shared history.

My Uncle Chuck is the first of either of my parents’ siblings to die. When it was great Uncle Gabe and I was a child, death seemed distant. It happened to people I didn’t really know; people who were old. My grandfather died when I was 19, and both of my grandmothers when I was an adult, but they were removed from me by two generations. Now, it’s my parent’s generation. Soon it will be mine.

Medical tests, treatment, and prescriptions will not prevent death but can certainly prolong and ease one’s life until the day comes. Some conditions can be cured, some can be prevented, some can be treated and managed. Not all of us will choose that course of action. At this point in my own life I plan to seek and use whatever medical treatment is necessary to keep myself healthy. Though, my Uncle Chuck was accused of having the “stupid Keith gene” perhaps he was making a choice. Maybe he didn’t want heroic measures and extensive treatment. Maybe it wasn’t stupidity at all but what he wanted. Not necessarily what his brothers or sister, who love and mourn him, would have wanted him to choose, but his choice, none the less. Though it may appear otherwise to those closest to him who will miss him terribly, I will think of my Uncle Chuck’s choice to decline medical treatment as his way of controlling his own life to the end.

RIP Charles Ivan Keith

Joyce

2006-04-07T06:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, I found my best friend in a Goodwill Store (sounds like it could be a CW song!) Our three year olds were in the same preschool class and while they were in school we would run errands and “thrift”. We saw each other often in the hallway waiting for the children to be let out but never really spoke. Until that one day… California had experienced a small earthquake while the kids were at school – just a small swaying, but I wondered how they had fared. As I was leaving the Goodwill to head over the school, Joyce walked in. We looked at each other, smiled, and one of us said, “You come here too?!” That was the beginning. Here is a recent picture of my buddy with her husband, Bill.

Perhaps the best way to explain what this friendship has meant to me through the years is to share the letter I sent as part of the 50th birthday tribute and celebration Bill organized for her.

Dear Joyce,

I have thought and thought since these sheets arrived from Bill and wondered how to put into words what you have meant to me since we met in the spring of 1984. I’m still not sure what direction this will take but have decided to just ramble on some about you and us and what it means to have a best friend…

You have meant more to me than any friend I have had before or since we met. In the beginning I can remember us trying to play “catch up” with our past lives. After all we were in our early 30’s then and had to share and tell about all of our previous years. Only by knowing where we had each been and what we had been through could we possibly understand where we were going or the turns our lives would take. And so in those early years, our children tolerated our many hours on the phone sharing every detail of our past lives. Little did we know that this phone time was preparation for our present friendship where distance now makes it necessary to carry on by phone.

And do I ever look forward to those phone calls. I love hearing your positive voice – there always seems to be a laugh in the sound of your words. Something I have come to love and appreciate about you – your sense of humor! I have often made the comment to others that you can make me laugh like no one I have ever known. I love your ability to see the silly in the every day things in life. I feel that my own sense of humor has become so much better just by being around you – I’m more able to laugh at myself and to find humor in just about any situation because of your influence. The gift of laughter is one you share without reserve and I love you for that!!

But you also have a serious side… a part of you that listens, and understands, and provides insight and advice. A part of you that I have depended on and sought out on many occasions over the past few years. You have listened and provided much needed solace and advice as I agonized over the end of my marriage, the uncertainty of dating, the fear of being alone, the longing for someone to love … and now you listen with obvious joy when I tell you about “my Tom” and the love we share. You have an uncanny ability to lovingly let me know what I need to know even when it’s not necessarily what I want to hear. You are a loving spirit who seeks only the best for those you care about.

And that brings me to another side of you that I love. Though you are not part of any organized religion, you are the most spiritual person I have ever met. You seem to know without a doubt that there is a bigger reality beyond this world and that sometimes those two worlds meet here on earth. What may be fate to some, you see as a spiritual plan. I certainly feel that way about our meeting. I think the Lord knew that I need you when we first met but that I would need you even more as the years went by. Our friendship was not an accident but a Divine plan. I have seen the strength of your spirit when your father died, and as you dealt with your mother’s emotional distance. Your spiritual strength has helped you overcome the agonizing physical pain in your body, the depressing emotional pain in your heart, and the fear created by a newly discovered learning disability. I admire that strength and use it as a model in my own life. Just as your sense of humor has increased my own; your spiritual love has made me a more spiritual and loving person.

And so, my dear friend, as you are about to reach that half century mark, I want you to see it not as the number of years since your birth but to reflect on the number of lives you have so lovingly touched. For I know that just as you have made my life so much better by being my friend, you have done the same by being in the lives of so many others. You have been a wonderful wife, lover and friend to your “B”, a loving and supportive mother to Paul, a caring a concerned neighbor to all who have been fortunate enough to live near you, a considerate and thoughtful daughter-in-law to Annie, a patient and kind teacher to your lucky students, a role model to your co-workers, an understanding daughter to your mother, a fun-loving sister to your brother, a warm and gracious hostess to all who have entered your home… and a best friend to me – lucky lucky me!!

Picture of Bargains

2006-04-04T19:52:00.000-07:00

Here is a not very clear picture of the thrifting finds I described in the previous post.

Thrifting

2006-04-04T16:32:00.000-07:00

When most people travel to a new area, one of the first things they want to know is the location of the mall or the main shopping area, and that is where they head. Finding the locations of museums, parks and historic areas are usually secondary, as we have become a society that prefers to acquire an item from a store rather than a memory from an activity. When young people who were volunteering to become “Bigs” in the Big Brother Big Sister program where I worked, were asked about their hobbies, the great majority said “shopping,” or “going to the mall”. So rather than being something done out of necessity to buy food, clothing, and other items of survival, shopping has become what some people do for fun.

Though I do enjoy visiting the local museums and other traditional landmarks of any new city I visit, I must confess, that I also seek out certain stores and shop for fun myself. Not the Old Navy, Bed Bath and Beyond, or Ann Taylor Loft, but the thrift stores! I’ll take a Goodwill over a Gap any day!

On a recent visit to Chicago, my husband and I walked through the downtown areas close to our hotel, through the theater district, and down the “Miracle Mile”. We walked past shoppers heavy with bags advertising where they had shopped. But I had no desire to go in any of these stores. We have AF, AE, Victoria’s Secret and Tommy Hilfiger stores within an hour’s drive of our house. Why go to Chicago and do what you can do at home? I longed to see the finds at the local Salvation Army Store or Goodwill, but knew the rents in the downtown Chicago area would be prohibitive and there was little chance of “thrifting” at a charitable enterprise in this area. A used book store with a fun array of children’s books, both fiction and non-fiction for adults, and well-organized and well-stocked was the closest we came to a thrift store, until…

Right there in the heart of Chicago, half a block from Borders, and across the street from the Hershey Store, was a gold mine -- a small hospital-affiliated second-hand store! Located on the bottom floor of what had once been an old brick three story home, it was full of treasures of the city. Clothes, glassware, furniture, fur stoles, china, CDs and shoes filled the shelves and racks. Items with history I would never know but had served their previous owner well. We browsed for a good hour, and found little to buy but were enriched by the experience.

For me, that is the draw of “thrifting” – never knowing just what you might find. Thrift stores are not the places to shop if you have a specific item in mind. One should enter a thrift with few expectations other than an openness to search the shelves and racks for the unknown. Thrift stores have served me well over the years. My teenage daughters were able to find the latest brand of blue jeans reasonably priced when we could not afford to pay retail. I found a beautiful formal to wear to a Navy Day Ball years ago. The mahogany end tables that still adorn my living room were purchased at least 20 years ago. We weren’t looking specifically for any of these items but we were lucky enough to find them!

So here is a tally of my latest finds. A ceramic vase with colors that match my décor (the bottom shows it was thrown by A.J. on 12/5/77), a leather purse with just the right number of pockets to meet my needs, a handled basket that holds my journal and current books perfectly, and the book 700 Sundays by Billy Crystal – hardcover and in perfect condition it will make a great gift. I wasn’t looking for any of these items but at less than $10 for all of them I couldn’t resist!

But probably the dearest thing I ever found in the Goodwill is my best friend, Joyce, ... that will have to be another entry.

What to Name the Blog

2006-04-02T09:49:00.000-07:00

So, my youngest daughter, who has discovered and immensely enjoyed the blogging experience for the past few months, says, “Mom, you should start a blog…it’s fun…you have lots to say…share what you’re reading, doing, journaling, planning…” I fought the idea for awhile, not really knowing what I would say and who would care …but here I am.

The title came to me a few years ago. I have collected turtles for over 30 years, inspired by a quote I first read back then, “Behold the turtle who only makes progress when she sticks out her neck.” Being a basically shy person, I tried to adopt that as my life’s motto. I haven’t always succeeded, but I have tried. Fast forward about 25 years…. I’m reading Spiritual Literacy, Reading the Sacred in Everyday Life by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat. In the section on finding the spirituality in “Places”, naming your home is suggested. I thought about it for a long time but never came up with a clear idea. A year or so later my husband, Tom, and I are walking along the beachfront of Mobile Bay in Point Clear, Alabama where all of the homes seem to have names. Again, I start thinking of a name and it finally comes to me. “Turtle’s Progress” is what I will name my next home, but in the meantime, it seems to be a fitting name for this blog.